Replaced?
by hat-and-clogs
Summary: Integra has a bad dream and thinks she's been replaced by Seras, Alucard picks up on her moping and tries to comfort her in his own little vampire way. heh. My first Hellsing fanfic, so I'd prefer that you don't read this.
1. Default Chapter

"Aim. Look at the target in your mind's eye. And fire," Alucard instructed a young Integra, who nodded seriously, brow furrowed in concentration. Her hands were shaking slightly from gripping the gun so hard; she so desperately wanted to show Alucard that she could shoot the target—just as well as he could. "Relax," he said calmly, moving behind her and around, covering her hands with his own to stop her hands from quivering.

Integra flinched and whirled away from his help, glaring at him furiously. "I can do it myself!" she yelled, accidentally pulling the trigger. The bullet went through him and disappeared, but no reaction showed on his face. Integra, on the other hand, turned white with mortification from being responsible for such an action, but couldn't quite bring herself to apologize to him.

"Of course, Master," Alucard said smoothly, fading away.

"No, wait!" a grown up Integra cried out, sitting upright in her bed. Breathing hard, she hurriedly massaged her temples, trying to ease the pounding in her head. "Only a dream," she assured herself, stepping out from under the covers and looking out the window. "Only a dream," she repeated, eyes straying to the clock on her nightstand. She sighed softly. It was 1:30 am. She doubted she would be able to go back to sleep so easily after a dream like that. Shivering, her mind drifted back to reflect on the dream, despite how much she wanted to dismiss it. Why had it disturbed her so much? Why did she keep assuring herself that it was only a dream? She closed her eyes and sank against the window frame. In the distance she could hear, ever so faintly, the sounds of gunshots. _The target practice room,_ she thought immediately. The only ones who ever used it at night, though, were Alucard and Seras. Right now, Alucard was probably teaching Seras how to use her new gun.

An uncomfortable thought snuck up on Integra, nagging and taunting her until she realized what it was. "I've been replaced," she said softly out loud, an unfamiliar pang inside her. It was almost a question, but something told her it was true. Grimacing, she stood back from the wall and began dressing herself. _If I can't sleep I might as well take a walk, _she thought practically, trying, in vain, to shove away her unwanted thoughts an.

Taking her glasses from their precarious perch on the edge of her nightstand, she stepped out into the hallway, closing her door behind her.

She automatically walked in the direction of the target practice area; as the emotional and physical satisfaction gained from firing at targets was second to none. By the time she realized that Alucard and Seras were still there it was too late, she had already subconsciously opened the door and stepped inside. Seras was in the process of reloading her gun, but as soon as she saw Integra she snapped to attention. Alucard regarded her thoughtfully. "You're up late, master," he commented, a faint tone of curiosity in his voice.

Integra struggled to maintain calm features as she said, "I'm sorry, I didn't know anyone was here. Please continue, I'll come back later," before fleeing in a very un-Integra like manner out the door and to the library, leaving behind a confused Seras and an Alucard who was deep in thought.

Seras started forward, as if to follow Sir Integra, but Alucard stopped her. "This will be all for tonight, Police Girl," he said firmly, putting his own gun away and stepping out.

Seras frowned. "Um...about Sir Integral...is she...?...." she began to say, trying unsuccessfully to put her thoughts into an understandable question.

"I will deal with it," Alucard interrupted calmly, before turning and walking out of the room.


	2. In the Library

Chapter Two

From the look he'd seen on Integra's face, Alucard had a pretty good Idea of what was bothering her. In a way he felt that it was flattering to him that she was jealous and missed his attention, but at the same time, he was irritated at her for thinking that he would ever put her second in his mind. They had known each other for ten years, and in that time they had come to be friends—however much Integra denied it openly. Did she really think...?

Alucard shook out of his thoughts and pushed the door open with a creak. He froze at the offending sound, bracing himself for a snappy reaction from the occupant inside.

Instead, there was nothing. With a mixture of curiosity and worry in his mind, he slipped inside and gravitated towards the newly built up fire in the fireplace. Integra was asleep, of all things, in an armchair nearby.

If Alucard still breathed, he probably would have caught his breath at the traces of tears on her face. Tears? Fleeing from him at the target room? "What next, Miss Hellsing?" he murmured softly with a raised eyebrow.

In response Integra shifted in her sleep and curled up more tightly in the chair. Alucard watched this movement with an almost tender look on his face. How like a child she seemed when she was sleep, as opposed to the stern and formal woman she was by day. Right now, she seemed almost...helpless?

He reached out and trailed a finger down her cheek, effectively brushing away the tearstains on her face, but also waking her up. She opened her eyes and they slowly focused on him. "What are you doing here?" she asked sharply, turning so that she was sitting upright in the chair.

The startled look on Alucard's face shifted to assume an emotionless mask.

"Why, _Noaple Bunå_," Alucard greeted her in Romanian, allowing a small grin to form on his face.

This failed to ease her penetrating glare, and she repeated her question in an even colder tone. "What are you doing here, Alucard?" she hissed.

Alucard closed his eyes and opened them again. Nope. The little girl he ad seen in slumber was gone, meaning he now had to think and quickly. The fact that she had been on her way to target practice meant that she probably had her personal gun with her, meaning that if he did not answer quickly, he would soon be filled with bullets.

Which meant that in order to avoid becoming a living sieve, he had to startle her in some way. Which he could usually do with words.

"Are you jealous, Miss Hellsing?" he asked her bluntly, still calculating his next move.

He eyes widened in shock, but Alucard gave her no chance to reply. "Did you think that you were replaced—by Seras?" he continued, a small part of him gleaning satisfaction from the way she was reacting. He placed his hands on either side of the armchair she was in, looming over her. "Really, Integra, I'm flattered that I was missed," he said mock-solemnly, matching her furious gaze with his own cool one. "But don't think I've waited ten years just to "replace" you with some one else" he added reprovingly, moving closer to her.

"Waited—?" Integra finally began to ask confusedly, before he kissed her forcefully on the mouth.

------------------------

hmm. Chapter two redone. Just some minor edits, until my brain comes back.

Thanks for all the wonderful reviews!!!!


	3. Where's the Love?

OH CRAP! I forgot the disclaimer! Aaah! I'm a failure…

Ahem.

Disclaimer: Hellsing is not mine, it is Kohta Hirano's, and so are all of the characters in this fic, which, by the way, is not making any money for me, or any ridiculous thing like that.

There.

Warning: this is where I think it gets really out of character. Uh oh. But that's, um, my creative license? Oh, and let's not forget over dramatic dialogue and some other crap that will make me cry later (at how bad it is). Siiiiiiiiigh.

(eons later: I did some major edits. This chapter was killing me).

Chapter 3:

Integra made a strangled noise in her throat and shoved Alucard from her. He moved backwards awkwardly, a look of shock and hurt flashing briefly across his face, before regaining his balance and staring at her with an unreadable look on his face.

"What do you think you are doing!" she asked him softly, standing up abruptly from her chair and quivering with barely contained fury.

"I don't know," Alucard replied, looking at her questioningly. When she glared at him with narrowed eyes he merely matched her glare with a mild look on his face. He watched without batting an eye as she got out a handgun at a speed that would have been considered too swift for a human, and aimed it at him.

"Are you planning on using that, Integra?" He asked her gently, but with warning behind his tone.

Integra caught the warning in his tone and slowly lowered her arm. "No," she said, letting her eyes drop from his questioning gaze, "I'm just…tired," she murmured.

"Then you should go to bed," Alucard pointed out, assuming a superior tone that gave no hint of what had transpired between them just moments before.

Integra jerked her head back up at his tone and frowned at him. "I think I will, thanks," she said stiffly, turning to go. Alucard did not have to wait long for the short, sharp admonishment that would follow the predictable pause in her movement.

"Alucard," Integra said, pausing right on cue, "This will not happen again."

Alucard cocked his head to one side and smiled. "Never again," he assured her, watching her with a thoughtful expression on her face as she walked away.

Leaving the library, Integra walked slowly back up to her rooms and collapsed on her bed after putting away her gun. Her insomnia was now replaced by a smothering weariness that overtook her as soon as she closed her eyes.

When she had been asleep for some time, a clump of shadows formed at the foot of her bed, forming Alucard. He moved closer to her bed and stared down at he sleeping form. "We are both wearing masks," he murmured thoughtfully at her. "If you took yours off, Integra, who would you be?"

Integra turned, with a small sigh, to sleep on her side, breaking the silence that had formed. Alucard tensed at her movement, afraid she would wake, but relaxed when she slept on. Leaning down, he kissed her softly on the mouth, and in sleep, she returned the kiss. His hand lightly stroked her hair, brushing it away from her face and smoothing it down. The growing desire in his mind to move to her neck and sink his fangs in and drink her blood made him break the kiss and stand away from her. The Hellsing seal on him was throbbing; acting on his thought of drinking her blood. "Someday, Integra, you will be mine, as I am yours now," he whispered, before disappearing to his underground rooms.

Aaah!

Just let you know, I have _no idea _where this story is going. I think in the dawn of time I was planning on making it long and the romance a gradual build up, because that's how I think they would realistically have a relationship, but now I'm not so sure.

Well. Until the next chapter then.


	4. Shoot me now, I'm integrating Shakespear...

So here I am. Finally. It took a while cuz I really had no idea what to do. Everyone was clamoring for me to update, and it put me in such a state of confusion and semi-murderous anxiety that I chewed a soda bottle cap into oblivion. (Yes, I bite things. This has been a problem ever since I first saw Hellsing).

That is, until one reviewer (a godsend, thank you thank you thank you thank you Candide Avede ) gave me mucho lovely suggestions, which started the wheels of creativity turning in my brain.

Heh.

But I haven't come up with anything definite yet. So this is like a filler chapter. Shhhh. No groans. Filler chapters build character.

................

Chapter 4

Integra was agitated. Ever since she had woken up an unfamiliar string of words had been running through her brain. Three cups of tea, two cigars, and a lunch break had not served to get it out of her head, and no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't think about anything else.

When most I wink, then do mine eyes best see 

She had narrowed it down to Shakespeare, probably a sonnet. She recalled having had to memorize a sonnet for school at one point, but that had been over ten years ago. It did not make sense that a sonnet had decided to return with a vengeance after thirteen years of lurking peacefully deep within her mind.

For all the day they view things unrespected 

The worst part was that she only remembered parts of it. And the fact that her mind stopped reciting it in the middle and then went back to the beginning annoyed her to no end. With a frustrated sigh she repeatedly hit her head lightly on the top of her desk, but stopped suddenly when a familiar and unwanted voice reached her ears.

"I trust my lady Hellsing had sweet dreams last night?" Alucard purred in a lazy tone.

But when I sleep, in dreams, they look on thee 

Integra raised her head slowly from the desk and glared at him, the events of the previous night coming back to her even as she attempted to shove them away. "What were you thinking last night, Alucard?!" she asked in a deceptively calm voice, glaring at him. He wasn't wearing his hat, so that his hair was loose, and his glasses were gone, so that he stared directly back at her with his dark red eyes.

_And darkly bright, are bright in dark directed_

Alucard contemplated her for a moment then grinned slyly. "Why were you banging your head against the desk?"

Integra stared him openly, caught off guard, and then gritted her teeth. "If you will not answer my question then I will not answer yours," she replied, but thought the words sounded childish even as she spoke them.

Alucard raised his eyebrows. "If you will act childish, then I will leave."

Integra winced and looked away. At any other time she would have asked him to leave, then, but for some reason—something—inside her wanted him to stay. And explain him self. "I was trying to remember the rest of a sonnet that was irking me," she murmured quickly, about to continue by asking him her question again.

"A sonnet?" Alucard inquired swiftly, cutting Integra off before she could even start. "My master is preoccupied with a sonnet?" There was a faint hint of disbelief in his tone.

Integra closed her eyes momentarily to calm down, and thought. "I don't know why," she said slowly, "I just am. But I don't remember the rest of it."

Alucard moved closer to her desk. "Say it for me," he commanded.

Integra stiffened at his directness, but complied, thinking that there would be no harm in it. "When most I wink, then do mine eyes best see," she began, tapping her finger nervously against the side of her desk, "for all the day they view things unrespected. But when I sleep, in dreams, that look on thee, and, darkly bright are bright in dark directed."

She paused. What came next? She took a shaky breath, and began again. "Then thou whose shadow shadows doth make bright, how would thy shadow's form form happy show, to the clear day with thy much clearer light." Integra paused, surprised. She remembered all of it now. "When to unseeing eyes thy shade shines so!/ How would, I say, mine eyes be blessed made/ by looking on thee in the living day/ when in dead night thy fair imperfect shade/ through heavy sleep on sightless eyes doth stay?/ All days are nights to see til I see thee/ and nights, bright days, when dreams do show me thee."

Integra opened her eyes, which she had evidently closed at some point, and started. Alucard was nowhere to be seen. Just as she was about to let out a sigh of relief, his voice spoke in her ear. "That was excellent, Miss Hellsing," he murmured.

"Alucard," Integra began warningly, before he interrupted her smoothly. "Coincidently, I have a sonnet for you." Integra's eyes widened. _What?_

As he began talking Integra struggled to ignore the fact that they were in uncomfortably close proximity to one another. Not only that, but she could not see him, or predict his movements, and if he attempted anything like he had the night before...

With a start her mind focused on what he was saying, a strange feeling building up inside her.

"Being your slave, what should I do but tend upon the hours and times of your desire? I have no precious time at all to spend, nor services to do till you require," Alucard murmured. "Nor dare I chide the world-without-end hour whilst I, my sovereign, watch the clock for you, nor think the bitterness of absence sour, when you have bid your servant once adieu."

He paused and licked his lips. "Nor dare I question with my jealous thought, where you may be, or your affairs suppose, but, like a sad slave, stay and think of nought, save, where you are how happy you make those: so true a fool is love, that in your will, though you do anything, he thinks no ill."

Integra sat in her chair, still, and didn't move even when Alucard wrapped his arms around her shoulder and pressed his lips against her neck. There was a tight knot in her stomach that didn't go away even after he disappeared; that only tightened when she broke down and cried.

........

Holy Hell. Did that make ANY sense at all? I dumped Shakespeare, of all things, into my fanfic.

Oh by the way, thanks, Will, for the sonnets, they're cool. And by cool I mean this chapter has a 70 chance of being deleted, depending on whether or not anyone got the point.

Actually, im not sure it has a point. Whatever.

At any rate, my idea was that they would kinda show their feelings to each other through the Shakespeare sonnets, and other Deep crap like that.

Ah well. At least they ended up kind of making up, right?

Maybe next chapter they'll make out.

Again, sorry for this chapter. I still can't believe I put in Shakespeare....

I weep.


	5. oooh yay! cliché! Walter, you always rui...

Hmm. Well. Ok. Here goes.

Chapter 5

Alucard paced uncomfortably in his rooms, a look of agitation on his face. He'd thought over his actions towards Integra, and was, for the first time in eons, unsure if what he had done was right.

He was very confused.

(A/N: so am I, by the way. In terms of what's going to happen in this chapter, anyway).

In previous situations, he had solved his problems by attacking them face on, and that had always worked. There had never been the question of _why_ he'd done it,or whether or not it was wrong, or right, to do whatever he decided to do.

In all his years of existence, as either a human or a vampire, he couldn't recall a situation where someone else's emotions were involved that also affected how he felt.

After some considerable time he decided, firmly, that it was his duty as both a servant—and friend—to apologize to his master. With a twinge of guilt he realized that it was the first time he had purposefully ever made his master cry, and that it would be chaotic to leave things as they were at present.

A small, resigned sigh escaped him as he departed from his rooms and reappeared in Integra's chambers an instant later in front of her desk.

Integra had stopped crying and was doing paperwork when he appeared. With a start she dropped the paper she was holding and glared at him sternly. "Alucard, I was doing paperw—" she began to lecture, when he stepped forward and put a finger on her lips.

"Don't try to pretend nothing happened," he chided, coming closer to her as she was standing up.

Integra followed his movements with her eyes and impatiently brushed away his finger with her hand. "Then don't you dare try to kiss me again, or I'll—" she started warn him, before he bent down and kissed her on the mouth anyway.

_"Too late," _he said wickedly, in her mind, deepening the kiss even while she was struggling. _"Don't deny that you want this,"_ he continued in a more serious tone.

(A/N: that last line he says is true cliché Hellsing fanfic spirit there, I know. There's one in every fic. Don't kill me for it).

Integra made a strangled noise and Alucard broke the kiss, eyes narrowed.

"I..." Integra began, struggling for words. "I don't know what to feel," she ended in a murmur, looking away.

Her eyes widened when she felt Alucard's arms around her, drawing her to close to him. "Alucard," she started to protest, as he moved them to her chair and sat down.

"Yes?" He asked her neutrally, shifting position so that Integra leaned fully against him and he could easily stroke her hair.

"This...this goes against everything I, and the Hellsing Organization, stand for," she said softly, in a mixed tone of regret and dignity.

Alucard stopped running his fingers through her hair and tilted her face up to look at him. "So?" He asked bluntly, staring at her frankly as his mouth formed the simple word that showed he didn't care at all.

Integra opened her mouth to yell at him, and then closed it. He had a point. It didn't matter—as long as no one found out. And inside, she knew the ache she felt was the yearning for him to love her; hold her. If only this once, she wanted to be with him.

She reached out and wrapped arms around his neck, drawing his face down for a kiss. Alucard's faint look of surprise disappeared when he became distracted with other things.

"Sir Integra I've brought you tea and—" Walter began to say as he walked through the door bearing a heavy tray. He looked up as he closed the door behind him and froze, the faintest look of shock and disapproval crossing his face.

Integra stood up abruptly from the chair and looked at Walter with the calmest look she could muster. Walter matched her cold stare and set down the tray. "May I have a word with you, Miss Integra," he said softly.

Without a backward glance she nodded, and said quietly, "Alucard, please leave for a moment." Alucard stood and inclined his head, looking at Walter strangely before fading from sight.

"Miss Integra, do you have any idea what you have gotten yourself into?" he asked her sternly. "Your father is probably turning in his grave."

Integra's lips twitched at that and she met his steady gaze with a small smile. "My father was cremated, Walter," she pointed out to him in a murmur.

"You are missing the point, Sir Integra, and I am asking you to think about this before you—" Walter started to say in a scolding tone.

"I don't recall it being your place to tell me what to do," Integra interrupted shakily, fists clenched.

Walter stared at her briefly and turned away to pick up the tray. "Here's your tea," he said stiffly, setting it a little too hard on her desk.

"Thank you, Walter," Integra said chillingly, picking up some paperwork as he left the room.

-----------------

Ouch. I find it hard to believe I wrote that....that....chapter. too sappy? Not sappy enough?

Well.

Sooner or later this fic will probably get a rating change.

And...a quick (but heartfelt) apology to everyone and everything that I've spelled wrong. It will all be dusted up, someday.


	6. Walter isnt really a meanie

Chapter 6

Integra tapped her fingers against the desk impatiently, knowing that Walter would be coming up soon to collect her tray. She _had _to talk to him about what had just happened, it was just so completely unlike Walter.

In vain she tried to focus on her paperwork, but her mind kept turning over what Walter had said. Luckily, her internal torment was broken when the door opened and Walter returned for the tray.

"Walter—" Integra started to say in a purposeful tone.

"No, Sir Integra, allow me to apologize," Walter cut in smoothly.

Integra blinked at him, stunned. "Apol…?" She began faintly.

Walter bravely met her eye and nodded once. "Try to understand that my earlier actions were based on my attempt to fill the role of your father. I only wished to react as your father would have in a similar situation."

Integra froze in her chair as she contemplated the meaning of his words. "So what do you really want for me, Walter?" she asked softly.

Walter bowed his head. "What makes my lady happy," he replied, before picking up her tray and turning to go.

"Thank you, Walter," Integra murmured, and she saw the set of his shoulders relax as he went opened the door and went out of the room.

"Now where were we, then?" She heard Alucard say as he dropped down from the ceiling and stood behind her chair.

Integra's lips twitched and she rose from her chair. "I believe you were stroking my hair," she answered, hearing him come closer to her.

"Did we only get that far?" he asked, sliding one arm around her torso and lifting up her hand with his other.

"So it would seem," Integra replied, feeling his fingers caress hers.

"Well then," Alucard began, but froze at the sound of someone knocking on the door.

Integra immediately sat down in her chair again and shoved Alucard under her desk. "I'm lifting two of the seals," she hissed, as she heard Captain Bernadette say her name in a muffled tone from the other side of the door.

Alucard understood immediately. "Come in," Integra said in a relieved tone.

Captain Bernadette entered, curious about the reason for the pause before he had been let in. "'Evening," he said cheerfully, standing to attention, but his eyes strayed to the large, black furry lump by his commander's feet. "A dog!" he exclaimed with obvious enthusiasm, getting down on his knees and inspecting the canine with interest. "What breed?" he asked Sir Integra, who was trying to hide her amusement at his loss of poise.

"Some sort of hound," she answered vaguely. "But what was it you came here for, Captain?" she reminded him.

"Oh, yes," he said, getting up hurriedly. "Well, it was just the report on the mission we completed yesterday…"

"Thank you, Captain," Integra said, quickly taking the folder he held out to her.

"And goodnight," she added in a tone that indicated dismissal.

"Ah, yes, good night," the Captain said, slightly put off by the hound's red eyes, which had opened at some point between his exchange with Integra. With a shrug that turned into a shudder, he left the room and closed the door behind him as quickly as possible.

-------------------------

hmm.

What can I say? Filler chapters build character.

At least Walter isn't a meanie after all.


	7. poof! there went my dignity

"Come, master…" 

Integra's eyes flew open and she sat up abruptly, readjusting to her surroundings. She was in….her office? She must have fallen asleep at her desk again. And...where was Alucard? He must have left after Pip gave her the report.

She frowned. Something had woken her up.

"Come…" 

She twitched. That was unmistakably Alucard's voice…in her mind. "Where are you?" she asked quietly to the empty room, gritting her teeth. Whenever he talked to her telepathically it always made her feel slightly sick afterwards.

"_In the library," _he answered promptly.

With a sigh she got up and dusted herself off. "I'll be there momentarily," she replied.

-

"Alucard?" Integra asked questioningly, stepping into the library to where he was standing by the open window. A breeze ruffled through his hair, raising it up and making it seem almost alive. He turned to her, and for a brief moment his eyes almost seemed to glow.

"Look at the moon," he said quietly, in a tone Integra had never heard before. She walked over to him and obediently gazed out the window at the orange-red full moon above them.

"A killing moon," he murmured, and a small, sinister smile played on his lips.

Integra almost instinctively edged back, but steeled her muscles to stay put.

"I remember another moon like this, once," he continued lazily, looking down at her briefly before returning his gaze to the moon. "Remember?"

Integra frowned. When…?

"When you were smaller," he said, answering her unspoken thought.

"Oh," Integra breathed, remembering despite the vagueness of his response. "That was when…"

Alucard's smile grew. "I was walking with you in the back garden at night…."

"…and a squirrel ran across the wall…" Integra continued hesitantly.

"And what happened next, Integra? Do you remember that?"

She frowned. "You reached out and caught it," she answered, "and then you…"

Her eyes widened with the memory. "You…"

"I did what, Integra?" Alucard whispered softly, watching her reaction carefully. "What did I do?"

"You crushed its skull," Integra said with difficulty, trembling. "Why are you bringing this up again, Alu—"

"The moon reminded me, Integra, that is all," Alucard cut in smoothly. "I'll continue from here. You then asked why I killed…things. Humans. Vampires. If you recall, I did not answer you then."

Integra nodded in agreement, wondering where this was heading, and still unnerved from the memory.

"Are you ready for my answer, now, Integra?" Alucard asked her, his voice devoid of emotion.

She looked up at him sharply, her eyes asking him why he was doing this. Red eyes met her blue ones and regarded her with the deadly patience of those who were far older than she.

"In a sentence: Because I enjoy it," he breathed, and her eyes narrowed.

"Don't tell me you've never had that feeling when you have complete control over someone else's life….you have it over me, Integra"—she flinched—"You enjoy it. Almost nothing can compare to that indescribable feeling of power that courses through you when you know you can snuff out life at your whim. When you fire a bullet, doesn't it fill you with satisfaction when it hits its mark, when the bullet rips through flesh and bone? Or when you give in to your darker side and tear your way through hordes of people and feel their lives drain away? No, you don't feel that—yet, but _I _do. I enjoy killing when I know that I have the ultimate advantage over my opponents, and that advantage is that I don't care about anything except that I take pleasure in the fight and in the killing. To think that through sheer strength I can rip them apart like a rag doll and then devour them is a euphoria that I live for. Can you imagine that power, Integra? Can you taste it on the tip of your tongue?"

He stepped forward and kissed her forcefully on the mouth, touching her tongue with his. When his hand curved around the back of her neck, she stiffened. "Do you realize that without these shields of the Hellsing family I could snap your neck like a twig?" He murmured into her ear, teasingly biting her earlobe.

Integra shuddered and struggled to get free of his grasp. "Oh yes," Alucard continued, "I also love fear. The way one can feel it slowly fill a room is almost _intoxicating_. Right now, Integra, your heartbeat has quickened and your breathing is irregular, no matter how hard you fight to control your natural reactions to my presence. And that's the thing about you, Integra, that draws me to you and keeps me by your side: You fight your physical shortcomings. And yet, you still insist on hanging on to them. When I offer you perfection, you shy away."

Integra's eyes widened as she felt his teeth trail down to the side of her neck and press into her skin. "Alucard…" she whispered in a mixture of horror and warning.

He relented and took his teeth away from her neck, pressing his face into her shoulder. "I…ache…for you, Integra," she heard him murmur in what should have been a muffled voice, but instead it carried and echoed in the room and in her mind. His arms folded around her tense frame, and despite herself, Integra involuntarily relaxed into his embrace. "I have always imagined that we are like two parts of a puzzle," he purred, "that fit together perfectly. We are the ying-yang in human form."

She felt his teeth return to her neck and his tongue begin to familiarize itself with her skin.

Integra stirred and licked her lips. "But you are not human," she whispered.

"No," Alucard agreed seriously, lifting his head up, "And now that you have seen the monster behind the semblance of a man, I wonder if you can still look at me and say you love me."

Integra twisted in his arms so that they faced each other. "You say I fight my physical shortcomings, and that is true," she said. "But I have learned to not fight my emotions, or the love that I have for you."


	8. sleep has become optional these days i s...

Ok, It's flash back time! XD

Enjoy chapter 8.

Quincy Morris staggered back, gasping, hand pressed to his injury to dull the pain, watching through clouding eyes as Hellsing brought the stake down towards Dracula. His eyes widened in shock, and then concern for Hellsing, when Dracula's hand reached up and grasped the stake firmly, preventing it from driving into his heart. "Wait," he heard the monster say to Hellsing. "Your friend will die here and now, unless you allow me to change him."

"Change him?" Hellsing asked in disbelief. "I would never allow one of my friends to be subjected to such an…abominable act."

The monster grinned. "Ask him yourself," he suggested sinisterly. "And see how your noble friend replies at the brink of his own death."

Hellsing narrowed his eyes and, without looking away from Dracula, addressed Morris. "Morris…do you wish for this….vampire….to save your life by giving you immortality?"

"Yes," Quincy Morris gasped, and there was a heavy silence. "Do not think that I am giving up what is surely my soul freely, Hellsing," Morris whispered, "But when given the choice of death or continuing to protect you and the others, I am willing to do anything in your service, for the memory of Miss Lucy, and to save us all."

Dracula muttered something in satisfied tones that was probably the equivalent of "told you so". His nose twitched and he looked back at Hellsing. "Make your decision quickly, Doctor: kill us both, or spare me and save him, but whichever you choose do so with haste, for even now he is breathing his last."

Hellsing hesitated briefly, before, under the watchful eyes of the others, he stood back from Dracula and let him go to Quincy Morris. "Wait," he said suddenly, and Dracula paused.

"Time is precious, Doctor," Dracula chided, but his eyes were wary.

In reply, Hellsing stepped towards Dracula and neatly slipped a worked metal band over his hand before Dracula could stop him.

"Now, do whatever it is you will do for Quincy," Hellsing said with a hint of smugness.

"What is it that you have done to me!" Dracula hissed with barely concealed rage, but he dropped to his knees in front of Quincy anyway, almost as if he had been silently commanded to, and started draining Morris of his human blood.

"Look away, Mina," Hellsing heard Jonathan whisper in weary tones. Footsteps crunched in the snow behind him and Hellsing turned his head to meet Dr. Seward's eyes. "Did I make the right decision, my friend?" he asked heavily, running his fingers through his hair.

"That depends," Dr. Seward said cautiously, eyeing Dracula with mingled fascination and disgust. "What is it exactly that you put on his wrist?"

"A rudimentary control spell," Hellsing replied, ignoring Seward's raised eyebrow. "I found it in one of my books before we left England and had the bracelet created on a whim. I think I can find ways to improve it though, once we get back to England."

Dr Seward started and looked at Hellsing in shock. "You don't seriously mean to keep that…thing…do you?" he asked.

Hellsing smiled wanly. "If I don't, who will? I cannot kill him now, he has saved Quincy Morris's life." He gestured to the now paler, shakier Quincy Morris who sat up and looked around him with blood red eyes.

"Or damned it," Dr. Seward muttered.

"I am not so sure, my friend," Hellsing replied thoughtfully. "Religion is a shaky thing at best, and while our Dracula is by no means pure, he was human once and I have a feeling we can play on the human characteristics he still has and use him—and our friend Quincy— for the good of the world."

"We?" Dr. Seward inquired.

"By all means, Dr. Seward. I doubt I could achieve this goal without your help and input," Hellsing answered distantly. "Ah, Mr. Morris," he said, directing his attention to the newly created vampire at his feet. "If you would be so kind as to lend me your arm," he asked politely, taking a metal band identical to Dracula's from his pocket and slipping it on to Morris's outstretched arm.

"You brought more than one?" Dr. Seward asked in surprise.

"It is best to come prepared," Hellsing said with a shrug. "Had Mrs. Mina succumbed to the tainted blood despite our best efforts we would have had more than one vampire to deal with, would we not? And it would break my heart to kill such an intelligent woman, who is such a powerful asset for our time."

"Were you planning this all along, then?" Dr. Seward asked Hellsing, who was walking towards Dracula.

"Yes and no, Dr. Seward, yes and no," Hellsing said mysteriously, effectively ending the conversations. He turned to face all of them. "Well, my good people, it has been a tremendously arduous adventure, but if we wish to return to England, we must make haste."

Alucard blinked. "Do you really mean that, Miss Hellsing?" he asked quietly, mulling over her words. "You would love a monster?"

"Not, 'would love' but 'do love'," Integra corrected, leaning her head against his chest. "I cannot help that you are a monster or that I love you, nor do I know when I started loving you instead of fearing you," she added thoughtfully, painfully aware of the ironic fact that he had no heartbeat.

Alucard gazed past her to the window and spoke. "I think I fell in love with you when you first set foot into the room where I was imprisoned," he murmured. "Or perhaps it wasn't love, because I am not sure I was capable of such complex human emotion back then. It was more like admiration, for your fury, and for your fierce determination to do anything to achieve your ends. I was drawn to you because you represented everything I had lost when I died and everything I craved as a human. You are powerful, but you are also uncorrupted and pure."

Integra's lips twitched. "I was always envious of you because you showed no emotion, until I started thinking maybe it wasn't that you never showed any emotion, but that you didn't have any feelings to show. I tried to appear as calm and controlled as you, and I never realized that you would be the one to—"

"Sir Integra," she heard Walter say behind her. Integra whirled around and away from Alucard and faced Walter with a questioning look.

"Yes?" she asked, feeling more than slightly awkward now that Walter had seen her with Alucard in an intimate position for the second time.

"I've finished preparing your room," he said, bowing.

"My…room?" Integra asked blankly.

"Ah…if you recall, Sir Integra, we started renovating your bedroom earlier today, and so I have prepared one of the spare rooms in the west wing as your temporary quarters," Walter explained.

"Oh yes, thank you, Walter," Integra said hurriedly, mentally slapping herself for forgetting.

"The west wing, you say?" Alucard repeated with uncharacteristic interest.

"That is correct, Alucard," Walter replied.

"What room is it?" Alucard asked sharply, watching Walter carefully.

"I do not know if it is any sort of special room, but it is the room that is the third door on the left from the stairs, which, if I recall correctly, contains the original Hellsing's personal book collection," Walter answered, before bowing and hastily exiting the library.

"You don't say," Alucard breathed, before turning back to Integra. "Well, Sir Hellsing, I believe it is your bedtime," he purred, "And—"

"Wait a minute," Integra interrupted, "What was that all about?" She asked suspiciously, fixing him with a stern glare.

"Nothing, Integra, only that that room is supposedly the one way to get to the fabled secret research room where your ancestor performed the more hushed-up scientific experiments of his career," Alucard answered neutrally, "As in, where I was detained for a period of time, along with—" he stopped abruptly and looked away. "Ah, I only ask because that room remains a long-standing article of interest to me."

"You mean, you want to see if there's some way to get around the Hellsing seals and return to your full strength," Integra interpreted shrewdly.

Alucard smirked. "I didn't say that, though, did I," he murmured, avoiding eye contact. "However, if you are not yet tired, but in the mood for mystery, I suggest we take a look at that room."

Integra sighed. "Seeing as I'll be making my way up there soon anyway, I don't see why not," she said with a shrug.

"Excellent," Alucard murmured, taking Integra's hand and transferring them to the room in question.

­­­­­­­­­­­

The room they appeared in had a musty smell, which probably came from the shelves around the room that were filled with multitudes of books. In the center was a rich velvet canopy bed that dominated the room space, and there was also a fireplace across from the bed, which Walter had cleaned and set up for Integra's use.

"Splendid," Alucard murmured, eyeing the room with approval. "That bed is big enough for two," he added in a satisfied tone.

"Don't think it will occupied by two," Integra snapped, still slightly dizzy from being teleported.

"Why not?" Alucard said, impulsively pinning her against a bookcase and bumping her nose with his. Such a tender gesture was the last thing Integra had expected from Alucard, and she felt her insides melt as he continued nuzzling her cheek.

"Mmm, Alucard…" Integra murmured, leaning more fully into the bookcase.

There was a click, and the bookcase swiveled around in a full turn, before stopping in the same place again as Integra fell forward against Alucard and lay still.

"What," she gasped, "was _that_?"

"Mmm," Alucard grunted, clearly as stunned as she was. "Do you have any idea what you did to trigger that?" he asked. "I have a strong feeling that that was the way to your dear ancestor's laboratory."

"I felt something push in when I leaned against the bookcase," Integra answered, "but I'm not sure which book it was."

They turned to face the bookcase and inspected the shelf that was level with Integra's back carefully. "Strange, usually one pulls a book _out_ to open a secret passage way, not push one _in_," Alucard commented, "But then, Abraham always did think differently from other people."

"I'm sure," Integra began dryly, "That no one else of his time ever considered enslaving a vampire."

"That is certainly true," Alucard agreed, fingers trailing over _A History of the Anglican Church_. "Might it have been this size?" he asked, pulling it out slightly.

"Maybe," Integra replied dubiously, wondering why the original Hellsing would have chosen a book like that to be the key to a top secret laboratory.

Alucard pushed it in and the bookcase immediately began to swivel. He hurriedly yanked it back out again and the bookcase stopped halfway between thgie walls. "Well," Alucard said, looking pleased, "Shall we go in?"

"If you insist," Integra sighed, looking down the opening in the wall with misgivings.

"Admit it Integra, you're as curious as I am," Alucard said, taking a step forward.

"Wait," Integra called to him, "we need some sort of light," she informed him, looking around the room in vain for something like a flashlight, or even a candle.

"_I _don't," Alucard said smugly, taking step back and turning to face his fuming master. "I guess I'll just have to carry you," he sighed mockingly, scooping her up in one deft movement and turning around that confront the doorway again. "Shall we?" he asked Integra, who was now curled up in his arms.

"We shall," Integra muttered, not at all happy about her situation.

"Are you comfortable?" Alucard asked as they made their way down.

"Other than the fact that your mouth is a little too conveniently close to my neck, I am quite comfortable, yes," Integra answered curtly.

"Mmm," Alucard agreed, and Integra felt his lips settle on her neck. _Unbelievably tantalizing, _he added in her mind.

"I'm sure," Integra said wryly. Suddenly her eye caught a strange glowing light ahead of them. "Alucard," she whispered. "There's something ahead."

"Don't worry, Integra," Alucard replied, "they're just mushrooms."

"Mushrooms?" Integra asked dubiously.

"Yes, Abraham inserted firefly genes into mushrooms so that when they grew from the walls in their altered form they would give off natural light," Alucard explained.

Integra frowned. "But…that kind of technology shouldn't have been available when he was alive. DNA and gene manipulation weren't discovered until the 1950's," she argued as they continued walking.

Alucard smiled. "You know how Da Vinci thought of the idea for flying machines centuries before they finally were invented?" Integra nodded. "It was the same with Abraham. He was simply before his time."

"Oh…." Integra breathed, looking admiringly at a particularly luminous clump of mushrooms growing from the wall. "They illuminate the hallway nicely, Alucard, so you can put me down," she added, much to Alucard's disappointment.

"As you wish, master," Alucard murmured in deference, gently lowering her to the floor, his hands lingering a little longer than necessary as he helped her get to her feet.

"Thank you," Integra said a little breathlessly, leaning against a wall for support.

It promptly collapsed and Integra fell through into a small chamber, scraping her hand against the rough stone floor in the process.

Alucard was immediately by her side. "Are you hurt?" he asked in a seemingly mild tone, though his frantic actions suggested that he was more concerned than anything else.

"I…don't think so," Integra said in a disoriented voice. "I suppose that was actually a wooden door I leaned against?"

"Yes, rotted wood, I think," Alucard replied vaguely, pulling her on to his lap and running his hands over her in a thorough inspection to see if she was hurt anywhere.

"Alucard, you really don't need to do this," Integra protested as he continued his meticulous search for any injury. He growled when he lifted up her scraped hand and turned questioning eyes to her.

"Oh…I must have scraped it on the floor," Integra said, sitting up. "It's not deep or anything."

"It's bleeding," Alucard pointed out, his eyes practically glowing.

"I realize," Integra said testily.

He continued to stare at her.

"Oh," she whispered after a pause, her cold demeanor cracking. "You want to…drink some?" she asked, faltering a little.

Alucard shook out of his trance. "Would you be so cruel as to deny me your delectable blood?" he purred softly.

Integra blinked. "No, I…" she trailed off when she felt his tongue on her hand.

"How interesting," a new voice said, and Alucard visibly twitched when he recognized it. "I wasn't aware that the Hellsing pet was on such intimate terms with its master."

"Quincy…" Alucard growled warningly.

Integra peered into the gloom in the direction of where the voice was coming from. "Quincy?" She asked mildly. "As in, Quincy Morris?"

I hate to leave you hanging, but I wanted to post this before school starts again next week and then suddenly all my time to do anything other than homework goes out the window.

Anyway.

Young Frankenstein references out the wazoo, I know, plus I don't know if I like this whole Quincy thing, but if that doesn't work out I can always kill him off in some way. If he gets bad press from reviewers for this chapter then I can tell you right now next chapter he will, quite unfortunately, inadvertently step on a landmine and then exit this world. Or something.

…Because I'm REALLY not sure about this Quincy thing.

Also, I haven't read Dracula in a little while and I didn't happen to have a handy copy about, so if some of the details aren't 100 percent accurate, just let me know, and I'll fix it, or get rid of it, or whatever.


	9. i thought of this while drinking wine

Alucard sighed. He had almost completely coaxed her out of her shell, but now she had reassumed her cold, unemotional, exterior mask…and it was all Quincey's fault.

"How did you stay awake?" Alucard hissed, advancing on the vague outline of a shape in the far corner. There was some rustling, but no response.

"Rats' blood," Quincey said wisely, after a pause, from his spot in the corner. "Nasty stuff, but it keeps you going when you're in a tight spot." His eyes flicked to Integra. "Do you feel powerful having a vampire drink out of your hand?" he asked rather bluntly.

Alucard growled and started forward, but Integra gave him a fierce look and he backed down.

Quincey watched this exchange with a neutral expression. "You always did like being controlled," he muttered under his breath, but, most unfortunately, Alucard heard this comment and had Quincy thrown against the wall before Integra could do anything to stop him.

"Alucard!" she admonished sharply nonetheless. "Control yourself!"

Quincey's eyes widened slightly when he saw Integra's face clearly and he tried to get up. Alucard, however, had other ideas, and pinned him against the wall by the throat with one hand. "Could…Alucard….and I talk privately for a few minutes…please?" he choked out.

Integra took an involuntary step backwards in surprise. "I suppose," she said reluctantly. She gave Alucard a questioning look, but he nodded his assent, so she withdrew from the room without further comment.

"She looks just like her, doesn't she?" Quincey murmured, looking after Integra's retreating figure with fading surprise.

Alucard dropped Quincey with a start and stared at him. "What did you just say?" he asked him hoarsely.

Quincey stared at him in undisguised astonishment. "Was that _emotion _in your voice?" he asked in amazement. "Things have changed quite a bit since 1902." He sighed at Alucard's demeanor. "I said, she looks just like her."

"Who?" Alucard asked numbly. "She looks like who?"

"Why, _Mina _of course," Quincey exclaimed. "I'm rather curious as to how that worked out in the family tree," he added nonchalantly.

"Mina and Jonathan's daughter married Integra's grandfather," Alucard answered mechanically.

"Interesting how these things turn out, isn't it," Quincey mused. "She has the same facial structure, same mouth, same stubborn chin…"

"I don't want to hear it," Alucard snarled.

"You never want to hear anything," Quincey countered calmly. "But what I really meant to talk about was _you._ Something tells me that your failure to win Mina's heart last time hasn't taught you anything about the incompatibility between vampire and human love."

Alucard flinched. "Do not remind me of my failures, or I will remind you of yours," he hissed warningly.

"Ouch," Quincey murmured, struggling to obtain an easygoing atmosphere. "I would prefer that you leave, then," he said huffily, "seeing as you don't want to have this little chat with me."

"Will do," Alucard retorted obligingly, turning to go. He paused momentarily, however, and looked back at Quincey. Quincey sensed his gaze and looked back at him with dead eyes. "Yes?" he asked wearily.

"You know what to do if…." Alucard began.

"Of course I do," Quincey replied quietly. "That's what we're made for, right?"

Alucard laughed. "Exactly," he answered, before gliding over to the doorway and looking out into the hall. "Integra?" He asked the empty stone corridor.

There was silence. A foreign feeling of fear began to writhe in his stomach, but he quelled it with some effort. Vampires do no feel fear. "Integra?" he called louder, stepping out into the hallway.

"Over here," he heard very faintly from somewhere to his right. His head jerked towards the sound of her voice, and, after rounding a corner, the scent of her blood was strong enough for him to find her without further help.

She was leaning against a wall (which she had tested to be sure of its solidity before trusting it) and smoking a cigar. Alucard wrinkled his sensitive nose at the unpleasant scent of smoke before closing the distance between them with a few long strides. "You should really stop smoking those," he chastised, plucking it from her fingers and crushing it under his boot. "It disrupts your otherwise mouthwatering scent," he added in a lower voice.

Integra glared at him. "I found the wine cellar," she said with no real enthusiasm in her voice. Alucard, however, perked up noticeably at the word 'wine' and glided past her in anticipation into the door that was slightly ajar at her right.

"No, no, that's the torture room," Integra corrected him belatedly as he hastily backed out of the room, his less savory memories of that room surfacing in his mind. "It's the room behind you," she said, pointing to the wall across from her. "If you look closely there's another wall behind that wall, and together they form a small passageway."

"Very clever, Sir Hellsing," Alucard commented with quiet appreciation, referring to her being able to find the hidden passageway. He eased behind the wall without waiting for a response and soon Integra could hear the sound of bottles clinking as he looked through the wine.

After a few minutes he reemerged with a bottle in each hand and a pleased look on his face. "A superb collection," he remarked with suppressed satisfaction in his tone.

Integra raised an eyebrow delicately. "Did I give you permission to take wine out of that room?" she asked him menacingly.

"Are you really going to be cruel enough to make me go and put them back?" Alucard shot back.

Integra opened her mouth to speak and then closed it again. "As long as you share it," she said finally.

"That was exactly my plan, Sir Hellsing," he purred.

When they got back to Integra's temporary room the small nightstand clock informed them that it was a little past midnight. Integra sat down on the edge of her bed and laughed ruefully. "After all that, we never did find the actual laboratory," she sighed.

"That can always wait for another day," Alucard assured her as he joined her on the bed. "Finding two bottles of fine cabernets are far more enjoyable than finding secret laboratories, anyway," he added, pulling out the cork of one bottle with his teeth. "Do you know how to drink wine?" he asked her in a muffled tone, before spitting out the cork. After some rummaging in his coat he produced two wine glasses and set them on the nightstand.

"I suppose," Integra answered, looking at the wine glasses in surprise. "Where did you get those?" she asked curiously.

"They were in the wine cellar," Alucard replied, frowning at the dust covering both of the glasses. "What do you mean, you suppose you know how to drink wine?" he asked, referring to her earlier response. "You either do or you don't," he continued, wiping out each glass with a corner of his coat.

Integra eyed this action doubtfully. "I'm not sure if you made those glasses cleaner or dirtier," she commented with some amusement. "As for how to drink wine," she continued, "You pour it in a glass and drink it," she answered simply.

Alucard gave her a withering look. "I will forgive your ignorance," he said condescendingly, "after all, you are only what—23? 24?"

"Don't mock me," Integra snapped, temper briefly flaring at his patronizing tone. "Even if I don't know how to drink wine correctly, you can be assured that I know how to use a gun properly," she added, the threat quite clear.

"I know you do," Alucard said soothingly, pouring half a glass for her and half a glass for himself. "I was the one that fine-tuned your marksmanship skills, remember? …Just as I am going to teach you how to drink wine."

"If you must," Integra sighed, staring at her wineglass. She sensed, rather than saw, Alucard grin from beside her, but started when his arm snaked around her waist.

"First," he purred, "swirl the wine in your glass and smell it at the same time. Notice the scent of the wine—don't be afraid to inhale it deeply," he ordered, seemingly following the last of the directions himself in regards to her neck.

"Next," he continued slowly, "take a small sip and let it roll over your tongue."

He knew he shouldn't have moved so close to her neck when he was hungry and at the height of his nighttime awareness. Though familiar craving for her blood that had overcome his senses had automatically dulled to a small ache due to the Hellsing seals, he was still very aware of the empty space in his throat where he felt he should be swallowing her blood. And he knew it would only be so long before he was overwhelmed with the desire to taste her blood despite the restraint the seals provided. He would silently suffer with unfulfilled longing for her blood unless she gave him permission.

"Mmm," Integra murmured appreciatively about the wine, unaware of Alucard's inner conflict. At the same time Alucard felt his throat constrict and his tongue almost force its way out of his mouth in his desire to taste the side of her neck that was so temptingly in front of him.

In one subconscious movement he moved more behind her and slid his hands over her shoulders. In response, Integra carefully put down her glass and leaned back into his touch. He bent his head over her neck and almost lazily let his tongue trail over her skin.

Integra did not fail to notice his tongue's path traced her jugular vein, or that he growled faintly in frustration whenever he tried to lock his teeth into her throat and the seals froze his jaw before he could penetrate her skin. It was this part of Alucard that she despised: that he could be reduced to an animalistic monster under the influence of her blood.

Not knowing what else to do, she reached up a hand and placed it on Alucard's head, letting her fingers tangle in his hair, and it quieted him a little. _Like a dog would be, _she thought, and immediately hated herself for thinking that.

"_May I?" _Alucard's voice in her mind asked pleadingly, and Integra swallowed. How would her father have dealt with this? She doubted that he would have let Alucard drink his blood; it was more likely that he preferred to get satisfaction out of depriving Alucard of pure Hellsing blood. She was even more positive that her father would not have felt pity for Alucard. Did that make what she was about to do wrong?

"You may," Integra murmured softly, "but know restraint, my pet," she added in an uncharacteristically tender tone.

"_Of course, my master," _he responded mentally, his teeth sinking into her skin and his tongue beginning to lap up the blood that welled out of the bite mark.

She let him drink for a few more minutes before telling him to stop. He immediately withdrew from her, if a bit reluctantly, and licked his lips to savor the last traces of her blood.

"A treat, as always," he said seductively, reaching for his wine glass from its place on the nightstand, and after sniffing it, he sipped it appreciatively.

Integra took another sip of her wine as well and turned to set her wine glass down. When she turned back around she barely had time to register Alucard's face in front of hers before their lips collided and they fell backwards together on to the bed.

When his tongue invaded her mouth she could still taste the mix of blood and wine in his mouth, and to her surprise she did not mind it as much as she had feared.

She finally broke off the kiss, mostly to catch her breath, and gently pried him off of her. "A simple 'thank you' will suffice next time," she murmured, smirking.

Alucard returned the smirk and propped himself up against the headboard of the bed. "Shall we continue the wine lesson where we left off, then?" he asked invitingly.

Integra handed him his wine glass before reaching for hers. "Of course," she replied.

siiiigh sorry it took so long.

Ok credit goes where credit is due:

…I got the inspiration for this chapter from the movie sideways. Mmhmm. And my own misadventures in the wine region as well. And….next chapter is almost done, and by almost done I mean I'm just kidding, but it'll get here when it gets here. I promise it won't take as long as this one did.

Oh, and I think I've figured out this fic is a plot-what-plot. Took me just about 9 chapters to figure that one out. But then if you have like a really good idea for this fic don't hesitate to share. And even if it's just a small suggestion I'll take anything I can get…so maybe I can save this fic before it falls into the PWP pit.


	10. im too cool for a chapter title

Chapter 10. I don't own hellsing, hellsing characters, or carpe jugulum.

Integra did not know how they had ended up in this position, but it was all together quite comfortable, and, most ironically, she felt safe in Alucard's arms. He was sitting up and leaning against the headboard of the bed, and she was sitting on his lap and leaning against his torso.

Though it was quite nice and relaxing, she was not sure if that was because she had drunk too much wine or if it was that Alucard was losing form just enough to let little tendrils of his shadows creep up her skin and adhere themselves to her, and the end result was that he felt like one of those mattresses with memory cells that supposedly helped one sleep. A mix of both was probably the most accurate answer.

She made a feeble attempt to detach herself from his invading shadows, but they just stretched out at greater lengths and wrapped themselves more securely around her arms and waist. "Could you stop that?" she asked, struggling against the smoky tendrils halfheartedly. She felt vague feelings of disgust and resentment warring with an absurd desire to let them stay where they were.

"Can I help it if every atom of my being wants to be one with you?" he murmured sincerely, hands lightly resting on her hips. Integra stilled at his words and fought to compose her features enough to talk. "And what do you mean by that?" she managed to ask.

"Can I help it if I want to share eternity with you?" he said, answering her question with a question of his own. "I can't stop my desire to have my blood flowing through your veins so that you can be my queen," he continued in a musing tone. "It gets lonely, with everyone around you dying," he remarked, and Integra felt pity overwhelm her, but only for a moment. She would not give him the satisfaction of manipulating her emotions.

"All it would take is a little prick," he concluded persuasively, his mouth already hovering over her neck with the small, hopeless hope that she might cave in and relinquish her self to him.

"It won't be yours," Integra informed him, seizing the chance to catch him off guard and stop the subject of conversation before it went too far.

Alucard laughed softly. "Mine isn't little," he replied, sliding his hands from her hips to around her waist until they interlocked to hold her in place.

Integra smirked. "I wouldn't know," she commented drowsily. Yawning, she extricated her arm from underneath his imprisoning arm and reached for her half-empty glass of wine. To her annoyance, Alucard neatly caught her wrist with his hand and shook his head. "No," he emphasized out loud. "Wine is to be drunk for pleasure, not for intoxication," he admonished.

Integra looked at him angrily. "I wasn't going to drink it to intoxicate myself," she protested, trying to break free from his grip on her wrist. She tried to get up, realizing he was no longer restraining her with both arms, but forgot about the insubstantial tendrils that had attached to her earlier, which immediately hardened and increased their hold on her when she tried to move.

Alucard looked at her impassively. "You are drunk," he informed her, releasing his grip on her wrist and holding her hand instead. "Or maybe just tipsy," he corrected, aware of her cold, clear gaze on him. "But either way, it is best to sleep it off," he added, withdrawing his shadows and gently laying her down on the bed. She held his hand firmly and looked up at him trustingly.

Alucard flinched and looked away. He had not seen that look directed at him in centuries. "I will leave you to sleep," he muttered softly.

When there was no response he looked at her again and realized she had drifted to sleep. Slowly, he slid off the bed and tried to back away carefully, but found that Integra was still gripping his hand tight even in her sleep. Sighing, he sat on the floor by her bed and tried to gently pry her fingers off of his hand, but without any luck.

He gave up after several attempts and slumped against the side of the bed. If it weren't for the glove, which he couldn't take off, he would have been able to dissolve his hand into shadow and easily extract himself from her grasp, he mused irritatedly.

Well. He had a reason to stay with her, at least, and as it looked like he wasn't going to be going anywhere any time soon, he slowly moved back on to the bed and eased himself down beside her. He watched her form as it rose and fell with each breath and wondered at human fragility. "I'd forgotten how susceptible humans are to the influence of alcohol," he muttered, mostly to himself. As he continued to watch her, a much less benign train of thought began to run through his mind. _How easy it would be to change her, right now, in her sleep,_ he thought hungrily.His teeth began to ache to bite her again and he had to remind himself that he had already fed on her blood. _But then, the hunger for Hellsing blood never stops, _a small part of him reminded him. With a faint growl he shoved the thought from his mind and contented himself with the delectable smell of her neck. "Good night," he finally murmured softly to her sleeping figure.

Integra woke up on her side with someone's nose pushed into her neck and a gloved hand resting against the bare skin of her stomach. As she gradually became more aware of her surroundings, she realized that the nose and the gloved hand belonged to a heavy lump that was lying next to her, with various parts draped over her.

"Alucard?" she asked groggily, but was almost positive of the answer.

The answering nuzzle that seemed to be preoccupied with the area of her neck confirmed that it was the vampire. "What are you still doing here?" she asked crossly, coming to the realization that she had a pounding headache and couldn't seem to see clearly.

"You're the one that had a deathlike grip on my hand for most of the night," Alucard replied amusedly. He lifted his hand languidly and moved it towards her head, and it lingered in places where it should not have lingered on the way up. He placed his hand lightly against her temple. "Does it ache here?" he asked, moving his fingers expertly in small circles against her head.

Integra murmured assent and moved closer to him. Alucard sighed and continued rubbing the side of her head. "Forgive me for not monitoring your wine intake last night," he said. "It is easy to forget that alcohol is one of the many human weaknesses," he continued, stressing the word 'weaknesses' with the satisfaction of seeing her grow angry.

"No, it was my fault," Integra replied coolly, despite her initial look of anger. "I was irresponsible." Her eyes widened as she finally focused her eyes on a tray by the bed. "Walter came by?" she asked in a horrified tone, and Alucard reveled in feeling the blood rush underneath her skin to her head as she blushed.

"Hmm…yes, I seem to recall that he did, earlier this morning," Alucard answered. "He wondered if you might come by later when you were up and about and see him for a moment," Alucard explained, and he felt Integra freeze.

"When was that? Why didn't you wake me up?" she asked.

Alucard brushed his fingers against her lips in a soothing motion. "Don't worry, he wanted to let you sleep," he assured her. "Breakfast and your tea is on the tray. I would keep you company, but…" He gestured towards the clock, which read 10:15 am.

"It's daytime, and you want to sleep in your coffin," Integra finished for him.

Alucard grinned and got up. "Exactly," he replied, heading towards the door. He turned and looked at her one last time and added, "If you want to come join me later, you would be most welcome," before going through the door without bothering to open it and disappearing from sight.

"Walter," Integra said in greeting, watching as he stopped polishing the china cabinet and turned around at the sound of her voice.

"Sir Integra," he said formally, setting down a rag and facing her.

"You wished to speak with me?" she asked.

"Yes," Walter answered, "I will only take a few minutes of your time," he added apologetically, adjusting his monocle.

Integra tensed. Adjusting his monocle was a nervous habit, which meant that something was wrong.

"It involves Alucard and yourself," he began cautiously, but took her outward lack of reaction as a sign to continue, and so he did. "I only wanted to warn you once again to never take Alucard's seals off."

Integra blinked and relaxed, relieved. "Walter, you've told this to me countless times since I found him in the basement," she said. "I'm not about to go and do a stupid thing like that now," she pointed out practically. "Why did you think I would?" She asked curiously.

Walter coughed and looked uncomfortable. "No reason, really," he said evasively, not meeting her eye.

Integra frowned, but decided not to pursue the topic further at the moment. "Well…if that's all…" she began, turning to go.

Walter nodded. "That is all," Miss Integra," he said resuming his work. He paused and whirled around. "Oh wait," he started, and she paused obligingly. "There is one more thing, Sir Integra," he said.

"Oh? What is it?" Integra asked.

"Quincy Morris," Walter answered seriously, and his heart sank when she looked at him blankly.

"Quincy Morris?" Integra asked, her brow furrowing. A memory came floating back to her, but it seemed to be from so long ago…she had found him…somewhere…

"Think hard, Sir Integra," Walter said desperately.

Integra concentrated, and it finally came back to her in a rush. Her eyes widened and she looked at Walter in shock. "Last night! But…why did I forget?" she asked in a confused tone.

Walter sighed. "Alucard tampered with your memory," he answered, hating to say it to her.

Integra looked at him disbelievingly. "But why?" she asked finally, fervently wishing for a cigar.

"He didn't want you to know the reason for Quincy," Walter answered vaguely.

Integra raised an eyebrow. "The reason for Quincy?" she repeated. She looked at Walter intently. "And what exactly is this reason for Quincy?" she asked, when a sudden thought struck her. "And how did you know we…I…met Quincy?" she added.

Walter smiled faintly. "When I came in to your room I saw the old wines from the wine storage room on the nightstand. To get to the wine cellar you have to pass Quincy's room, and he would never have let you pass without meeting you," he answered. "As to your first question, I have sworn to Alucard to never tell you," he answered. "I am sorry," he said at her look, "but it is one of the few things I will honor for that vampire." He looked down to avoid her eyes and looked back up to see her open her mouth again.. "And just in case you were wondering," he cut in smoothly, "The reason I know Quincy is something I cannot convey to you either."

Integra inwardly fumed and swore to get a cigar as soon as possible. "Isn't there anything you might tell me?" she asked.

Walter frowned. "Anything?" He asked. "I wouldn't know what to tell you, Sir Integra, but the library may hold some answers," he replied.

Hey kiddos I TOLD you the next chapter would come soon. I must be psychic.

And just to let you know, the "All it would take is a small prick"/ "it won't be yours" conversation is pure Terry Pratchett, from the book Carpe Jugulum (go for the throat).

I just couldn't resist putting that one in. Many thanks to Royalpalmtree for pointing out Integra's lack of reaction to discovering Quincy…I think I managed to incorporate a good reason for that….and…good news! Or maybe bad news! I thought of a plot (gasp!) so there will be an ending to this fic. In case you were wondering.

Oh, and about the Quincy/ Quinc**e**y spelling. I found out the proper spelling in the book is "Quincey", and I had been spelling it "Quincy" so you may have noticed that I switched to Quincey in chapter 9 from the no E spelling in chapter 8, but then now I'm back to "Quincy" because...well…I like it better.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11. (A/N: Ok. I know I haven't updated in a really long time, but this is due to several unfortunate things and freak forces of nature that were outside of my control. I wrote this chapter in like, April. But then my computer started not wanting to upload things and it took me a long time to figure out why. And then lightning struck my house. hate it when that happens. This burned out the phone jacks, which are what I used to connect to the internet (yes, I have dial up TT). I think god is trying to tell me something. Something bad.)

….And now, after all that, here is chapter 11.

When Integra stepped into the cool interior of the library she realized with a start that she had not been here since the night Alucard ranted at her about vampire longings. _It was strange_, she thought, looking out the window wonderingly_, that so much could happen in so little time_.

Time…she looked at her watch on impulse and blinked in surprise at how late it had gotten. Alucard had invited her to come down—but first, she had to do a little research.

After twenty minutes of fruitless searching Integra gave up. There was absolutely nothing on seals or bindings, not even a more general documented history of Abraham's research.

Integra frowned as she looked through the shelves for promising titles. They were all very common, general books on general topics in comparison to what she had been hoping for. If this bad luck went on she would be forced to consult Quincy on the matter.

She froze, mentally kicking herself. Quincy! Quincy was down where Abraham's fabled secret library was. If the library was real, then something useful on seals would probably be there. First and foremost, however, she had to confront Alucard on why he had concealed Quincy from her memory, and if he knew anything interesting about Hellsing seals from his experience.

Integra walked in what seemed to be an aimless manner in the halls of the Hellsing Manor basement. She was heading in the general direction of Alucard's chambers, but, at the same time, managed to maintain the air that she was on her way to complete some important business.

When she finally found the door to his rooms and (with a few discreet looks around the hall) managed to slip through unnoticed, she was confronted with the puzzling obstacle of not knowing what to do next. For one thing, the coffin that took up most of the space in the room had what looked like an extremely heavy lid, and for another thing, Integra was doubtful that Alucard would take kindly to a bout of questions about his motives, and possibly his past.

With a sigh she pushed up her sleeves impatiently and placed her palms under the edge of the coffin lid to try and boost it up. It didn't budge, and after her fifth try, she stopped and leaned against the edge of the coffin to catch her breath.

Over the sounds of her pounding heart and deep breaths she heard a small scraping sound. Twisting her head, she looked and saw that Alucard had propped open the coffin lid with ease, and was now staring at her with mocking amusement written plainly on his face.

Integra thinned her lips. "Did I wake you?" she asked testily, aching to wipe the smirk off his face.

"The musical sound of your quickly beating heart was quite a pleasant wake up call," Alucard murmured, "So don't regret being at fault for waking me." His smirk grew wider and he leaned closer to her. "Tell me," he breathed, looking at her intently, "Was your heart beating so fast because of fear…or anticipation?"

"Exertion," Integra snapped in reply. "I don't fear you," she added contemptuously.

"What a disappointment," Alucard purred, deftly balancing the coffin lid on the rim of the coffin and then lifting Integra up and into the coffin interior with him.

"Alucard," Integra began to protest as he dragged the coffin lid over them until they were engulfed in complete darkness. While Integra could normally see fairly well in the dark, the absolute darkness was so much that she could just make out Alucard in front of her."I need air," She said suddenly in the muffled silence of the coffin.

Alucard sighed, perhaps at the fragility of humankind, and moved the lid slightly again so that a small crack formed to serve as an air vent.

"Thank you," Integra said gratefully as cool, fresh air slowly circulated in and it was no longer quite so stuffy.

"Of course," Alucard murmured in a low voice, cradling her head against his chest. While there was a short, comfortable pause in the conversation, he took the opportunity to begin gently stroking her hair.

"What did you want to do tonight?" Integra murmured in a relaxed tone, shifting slightly to make more room for them both.

"Well," Alucard murmured, winding a lock of her hair around his fingers, "I wanted to snack on a nice, warm, luscious Hellsing human body," he purred thoughtfully, "then drink their blood until I felt their heartbeat begin to flutter and they reached the borderline of death, after which I would leave them no choice but to let me change them into a vampire."

Integra sighed. "I was thinking more along the lines of explaining to me why you hid my memory of finding Quincy from me," she said bluntly. Alucard did not react openly, but merely continued to stroke her hair absently.

"You were too strong for my tampering, I see," he said appraisingly, his mouth moving towards hers. "So strong now, just think what a vampire you would make," he murmured, echoing words he had repeated countless times over the years. He closed the distance between them with a soft kiss, which progressed quickly as he moved on top of her and pinned her down on the floor of the coffin.

"Alucard," Integra said warningly, her tone indicating that she saw right through his attempts to distract her from the topic at hand.

"Integra," Alucard said gently, easing himself off of her and rolling to one side of the coffin with his back to her. "Do you like games?" he asked suddenly.

Integra frowned at him suspiciously. "What…sort of games?" she asked cautiously.

"Guessing games," Alucard replied, turning back over to face her.

Integra gritted her teeth. She knew where this was going. "Alucard…" she began threateningly.

"It's only a game, Integra," he assured her smoothly, "is there a problem?" he asked silkily.

Integra regarded Alucard with a piercing gaze, trying to discern his motives. When that failed and all she could see in the darkness was Alucard's disarmingly handsome, pale face in front of her, she sighed and looked away. "I guess not," she muttered, missing a complacent smile that graced his features before he spoke again.

"You wanted to know why I masked Quincy from your memories?" he prompted obligingly.

"Yes," Integra said, not getting her hopes up for a decent answer from him.

"Guess," Alucard answered predictably, making Integra's teeth grinding audible.

Nevertheless, she plunged into her half-formed analysis with smooth aplomb and made Alucard pause in the middle of stroking her hair. "You have something to hide," she began, "something that happened in the past that you weren't supposed to do," she paused, regarding him carefully.

"Go on," Alucard breathed, watching her intently.

" I doubt it's something from Abraham's era…it must be more recent if you want to hide it from me. It might even be the reason for which you were locked up over twenty years ago," Integra continued. When Alucard visibly twitched Integra knew she had struck a nerve.

"Ah, so it was," she said smugly. "I think…maybe…well, I'm not sure," she stopped, struggling for words, "I think it has something to do with the seals," she finished lamely, giving Alucard time to recover and assume his nonchalant mask. "Am I right?" she asked.

"Guess," Alucard replied with a wicked grin.

Integra fumed and could not restrain herself from shooting a venomous glance at him. "I've decided I don't like guessing games," she said savagely.

Alucard grinned. "Oh but I was having so much fun," he murmured in mock disappointment. "Do continue."

Integra opened her mouth to object, but her words died in her throat when she realized that she was acting like a child—and Alucard had planned it that way to make her look ridiculous. _I always act like a child around him, _she thought furiously, _that's probably how he thinks of me,_ a small voice added.

"_Hardly_," Alucard's amused voice interrupted her thoughts, and anger rose up in her again.

"How many times must I tell you not to read my th—" Integra began indignantly, but Alucard continued as if she had never spoken at all.

"I don't think of you as a child," he purred, succeeding in pulling her closer despite her half-hearted struggles to stop him. "While I am certainly centuries older than you and you are…" –he paused, trying to tactfully find a way around the fact that he had forgotten how old she was, "…only in your early twenties," he continued suavely, "I don't consider you a child at all. In fact, you are a fine example of female anatomy which I have not yet been able to fully—" he paused for effect, "—experience." As if to emphasize the last word he wrapped his arms successfully around her struggling form and she relaxed into his embrace. Alucard smiled in relief and hoped she had given up.

Integra, having failed in escaping his grasp, did no such thing as give up and instead attempted a verbal comeback. "I think you broke the seals twenty years ago," she said suddenly, acting on a hunch. As she had suspected and hoped, he let go of her, startled, and shifted away from her to observe her—she had suddenly become a dangerous opponent.

"What keen and insightful perception," he commented from the opposite side of the coffin, trying to maintain an aura of calm.

Integra allowed herself to smile nastily and planned her next move. "Quincy knows what happened," she continued, trying to watch his face in the darkness for a reaction.

"Naturally," Alucard, his confidence evidently not completely shattered by her ruthless assaults.

"And Quincy had something to do with why it happened?" she asked tentatively.

"Naturally," Alucard repeated, warily approaching her again.

"And Walter knows too," Integra stated, waiting to hear what she pretty much already knew to be true be confirmed.

"Naturally," Alucard whispered, drawing her to him with coaxing hands.

She let herself snuggle into his hold and asked one last question. "Are you avoiding telling me what's going on because you think I can't handle the truth?"

Alucard leaned down and kissed her slowly. _Of course not,_ he said affectionately in her mind.

But Integra knew he was lying.

I just realized Seras is not in this fic at all. WHERE'D SHE GO? I think she had like…uhh…a starring part in chapter one that consisted of…looking confused.

A, Seras.


	12. haha! foiled you, leslie!

Integra opened her eyes slowly and tried to sit up, but something threw itself across her midsection and forced her to lie back down. "Do that, and you'll get a nasty bump on the head," she heard Alucard murmur in her ear, and she realized that it was his arm that had restrained her move to get up. Belatedly, she remembered that she was in a coffin. His coffin.

"Alucard, how long was I asleep?" she asked anxiously, trying to push up the lid.

"An hour at the most," Alucard assured her. "You have about half an hour before Walter makes your dinner," he continued, pushing open the coffin for her.

Integra sighed in relief, but shot him a piercing glance when something occurred to her. "How do you know when Walter makes my dinner?" she asked shrewdly, stepping out of the coffin.

Alucard stepped out of the coffin after her and stretched. Moving behind her, he put his hands on her shoulders and whispered in her ear, "Guess."

"It's taking every bit of my self-restraint to stop myself from hitting you," Integra hissed in reply. She maneuvered out of his grasp impatiently and stood a respectable five feet away from him. "I'd like to see you in my study after my dinner," she ordered in a deceptively pleasant and sweet manner, "I expect you to be on time…since you're such an expert on my daily schedule."

Alucard grinned. "I'll be there, Miss Hellsing," he said, bowing mockingly. She nodded and left his room, but not before Alucard caught a fleeting thought from her mind that went along the lines of, _ 'I did NOT just fall asleep in a coffin…his coffin…with him in it too…don't ever do that again.'_

His grin widened. _We'll see about that, Miss Hellsing,_ he thought to himself.

---------------------

At the precise moment Integra set down her silverware, took the napkin from her lap and put it on the table, Alucard materialized in front of her.

"Alucard," Integra acknowledged, looking up from the table.

"Integra," Alucard returned, but there was a hint of a question in his tone that Integra did not miss.

"Follow me, please," she ordered, standing up and walking swiftly out the door.

"Where are we going, Integra?" Alucard asked, seemingly out of idle curiosity as he followed her.

"Hush," Integra said irritably as they walked quickly down the halls. Despite his abnormally long strides, Alucard found himself having to actually rush to keep up with her.

The answer to his question soon became clear when they stopped in front of a familiar door and Integra took out a key and opened it.

"No," Alucard said immediately, his refusal coming out as a growl. "I decline your offer to go down there again."

"I was not offering such a trip to you. I am ordering you to come," Integra answered coolly, dragging him into the room where they had spent the night before. She'd wanted his company and the safety in having him along, but he was turning out to be a pain.

Alucard watched her uneasily as she opened the stairway to the underground levels and beckoned for him to follow.

"I do not want to see that insane, sorry excuse for a vampire any more than necessary," Alucard ground out through intimidating bared teeth. "Meaning, I will wait here for your inevitable return."

Integra turned to him with a mildly surprised look on her face. "Oh?" she inquired, raising an eyebrow delicately. "In that case, I shall talk to Quincy on my own. In fact, that is a better idea—your absence won't inhibit Quincy's words as much. His answers will, no doubt, be much more detailed if you are not there," she paused to let that sink in, and then turned on her heel. "I'll see you later, upon my….inevitable return," she said sweetly, throwing his earlier words back at him mockingly. With that, she stepped forward and disappeared into the darkness of the descending stairs.

Alucard glared at her fading figure and briefly wondered where the Integra that had slept in his coffin with him had gone. She had become calculating in her quest for information—information that he knew could jeopardize their growing relationship and his relatively liberal position in the Hellsing Agency. Information which Quincy would be all to delighted to divulge if it could possible make Alucard's life difficult.

Cursing, he slipped through the doorway and silently followed behind her.

-------------------------

Integra carefully made her way down the last few steps of the staircase and walked slowly in the direction of Quincy's room. When she felt she had found the right place, she started searching for the doorway.

This proved to be unnecessary when a hand reached out and roughly pulled her into a room. "Quincy?" she asked calmly, seeing his eyes faintly glowing red in the darkness of the room.

"A warning, my dear Hellsing," he breathed in her ear, "Be careful wandering this place alone…some of your ancestor's experiments were more unsavory than others."

Integra detached herself from his grasp and his close proximity and folded her arms. "I'll keep that in mind," she said frostily. "While we're talking about my ancestor's experiments, what can you tell me—" she began, but Quincy hissed violently, cutting her off, and pounced on an innocent looking pool of shadows that was stretching towards them across the floor.

The shadows erupted into Alucard and he shook Quincy off with ease. "Don't tell me you're strong enough to sense my presence, Quincy," Alucard said in disbelief.

"Not so much," Quincy admitted, "but how would shadows move in a place with no light?"

Alucard shrugged. "An oversight on my part," he said dismissively. He looked at Integra smugly. "Well, do carry on," he encouraged lazily. "Ask him to tell you about…whatever," he continued mockingly. "I'm just part of the shadows," he whispered, catching her eye.

Integra kicked him out of sheer spite and he grunted from the blow. "What can you tell me about seals?" she asked with a sigh, hoping to make the best of the situation.

Quincy looked at her strangely. "Well, they're amphibious mammals, kind of fish-like…"

"She means the Hellsing seals, idiot," Alucard clarified disdainfully, though Integra suspected Quincy's misconception had been on purpose.

"Nothing," Quincy answered promptly. "It is forbidden, and I don't know anything about them, and even if I did, I wouldn't tell you anyway," he expanded.

His words earned him a steely glare from Integra, but he continued, clearly unfazed by her look, "And what little I can tell you involves Alucard and how naughty he was twenty y—"

_SLAM_.

"That—is—forbidden," Alucard snarled, punctuating each word by ruthlessly banging Quincy's head into the floor. In a single movement he had pinned down Quincy with one hand, and he seemed content with pushing Quincy through the floor.

"Alucard!" Integra managed to choke out finally in a reproving tone.

Alucard was beyond hearing her words, but Quincy fended him off (with some difficulty) and he snapped out of his rage long enough to hear Quincy ask Integra to leave them alone for a few minutes. He relaxed, knowing the value of a private conversation with Quincy, and slowly backed off of him.

"Integra, please," Quincy pleaded, a strange look on his face.

"No," Integra refused stubbornly. "The last time I let you two have a private chat, Alucard could not control his desire to hurt you. This time is no different. I'm not about to go and let you..."

"GO AWAY!" Alucard and Quincy all but howled at her. "Go...browse the private library or something," Quincy suggested.

Integra's ears perked up. "Private library?" she asked, an intense look of curiosity on her face.

"Down the corridor, second left," Quincy told her smoothly. "Watch out for any..." he began, but she had already walked out of earshot.

"Now listen here, master," Quincy said, turning to Alucard and spitting the formality out venomously. "You," he began, but floundered momentarily. "You...are a possessive, cowardly, no-good, love-bitten—pardon the pun—monster," he declared. "You won't even, no, you _can't_ even tell your master what she deserves to know!" He paused to get his bearings and saw Alucard's growing look of anger and pain.

"I…can't…" Alucard began, with a rare look of defeat on his face. The tables had obviously turned in the last few minutes, and Alucard resented it, but couldn't stop it.

"What have you got to say for yourself, hmm?" Quincy asked him scornfully.

-----------------------

Integra found the library and silently thanked Quincy. This was what she had been looking for—the "secret laboratory" doubled as an extensive library. Almost immediately, she was able to find a promising book: Abraham van Helsing's original notebook recording his experiments in developing and strengthening the seals.

Opening the first page, Integra began to read.

_It is very simple, the mechanics of the seals. They basically separate the "man" and the "monster" in the vampire. Every vampire still maintains human characteristics; they are just hidden by the driving frontal needs of the vampire nature. The seals suppress these needs and enhance the humanity that remains in the vampire…_

Integra paused and mulled over the first paragraph. If the seals suppressed the vampire side and enhanced a vampire's humanity, did this mean that the removal of the seals would reverse this? "Probably," she muttered out loud, returning her gaze to the open book and continuing to skim the journal.

…_30 October. Both subjects have become more compliant and obedient in actions and in following orders. The rudimentary seals I placed on Quincy and Dracula have been replaced with more fine tuned seals that are more permanent than the ones I placed on them in Romania…Today Dracula seems much more human and retains a more humanoid shape. In accordance with the five levels of seals I have bound him more securely to the will of any of the Hellsing line…11 November. Quincy is not reacting well to the seals…his behavior has become increasingly violent and his amicable nature has been replaced with a more sullen disposition.…am conducting experiments to see if it is directly because of the seals or if it is just the lasting influence of the change from human to vampire…_

Integra looked up from the page and frowned, deep in thought. The seals had evidently altered basic characteristics of both Quincy and Alucard. Her brief encounters with Quincy had proven that he was not quite…sane, and the last ten years she had spent with Alucard had revealed him to have a shifting personality. Whether his rather varied personality was influenced by the seals or not was unclear. It was entirely possible, Integra mused, that sudden changes and unbalances in his character that he was prone to could be from the shifts in the strength of the hold the seals had on him.

With a sigh she shuffled through the journal to glean more information from it, but only found sketches of pentagrams and the accompanying notes around them. Near the end of the book, she paused at a promising concluding entry.

_I am not brave enough or foolish enough to see the after effects of taking off the seals for myself. As the seals dominate and control many of the mental and physical functions of the vampire, I can only hypothesize that taking them away would impact the vampire greatly in a variety of ways._

Integra shuddered and closed the book with a soft thump. "Slightly helpful," she muttered, "but not overly—oh!" she ended with a small gasp, seeing three indistinct shapes, that faintly resembled dogs, moving towards her from the opposite side of the room.

Remembering Quincy's earlier warning, she turned around and exited the library at a run.

--------------------------

"You're weak," Quincy concluded, and Alucard stiffened. "Oh, well, sure, you're the strongest vampire in the world, but emotionally, you're a wreck." Quincy waited for this to sink in for a moment, and then went on. "You may be the single most horrific force of nature in the history of mankind, but that doesn't stop the fact that you are still somewhat human inside. Don't deny it—there are times, I know, when that pure evil side takes over and you a truly a monster, but this doesn't cancel out your other side."

"My other side?" Alucard whispered.

"Your feelings," Quincy said simply. "They keep you whole. They keep you sane. Imagine the thought of losing someone you had grown to love deeply, someone who you knew loved you back despite the fact that you are a monster. You would be devastated. When you lose all the anchors to your humanity, you become an incoherent killing machine. And that's what happened with Mina, isn't it? Only, you mistook her pity for love. And when she didn't turn into a vampire as planned, you cracked just a little. But when Hellsing bound you to his family and your powers were no longer yours to command, that was the last straw, wasn't it? I remember…"

Quincy's eyes glazed over slightly and he quickly shook out of his thoughts. "Your mind was in complete turmoil then, too," he continued. "I could feel it in my mind. And you became the most pitiful of monsters, trapped in your mind with nothing but your hunger for blood to keep you functioning. With Integra, this could, and probably will, happen again. I imagine it's only a matter of time before your inhumanity takes control."

---------------------

"You're wrong," Integra said, out of breath, swiftly walking from the doorway she had been leaning against to where Alucard was sitting numbly. "I've seen him crying. If nothing else, he has his memories," she said, pausing. "He carries the weight of over five hundred years on his shoulders, and that's more than enough to remind him of humanity, in all its brutality. And if Alucard mistook pity for love, well, then, Quincy, I think you are mistaking insanity for rage." She stopped and brushed her fingers lightly against Alucard's face, and when she took her hand away, it was bloody with his tears. She placed one bloodstained finger against his lips gently before he could speak and addressed both of them calmly. "Now I'm very sorry to interrupt your little psychotherapy session, but there are currently two or three vicious hybrid experimental creatures after me."

Her words were punctuated by the arrival of three giant, snarling beasts of indeterminate species that wasted no time in cornering her against the wall. As Quincy and Alucard watched in dawning horror, one of them dissolved and spread, forming a transparent barrier between the vampires and Integra.

"Early military technology prototypes, I wonder?" Quincy mused in a steady voice, but his eyes were darting quickly between the creatures and Integra, trying to formulate a plan.

"This is not the time to speculate on the uses of these beasts," Alucard snarled, trying to tear through the barrier. To everyone's surprise, it repelled his attempts.

"What now, genius?" Quincy hissed, shuddering when one of the doglike beasts clawed Integra's arm and blood spurted from the wound.

"Hurry," Integra gasped, wishing that she had brought her gun.

"Good, we can hear each other through the barrier," Alucard murmured, putting himself close to the shield. "Now listen to me very carefully, Integra…" he began.

------------------------------------------------

Ending it there for now, filler chapters are so exhausting to write. And filler it was, too, I'm sorry about all that background journal entry crap.

I expect about two more chapters, and then it will be done, which is good, because I really don't like this fic. I doubt many people like their first fics much…it seems to be the current fad in Harry Potter fanficdom, anyway. I'm currently starting/finishing another Hellsing fic, but I'll wait until I finish this fic before I contribute any more to the piles of lousy stories out there.

To explain the pen name change, some one very, very scary is after me and will stop at nothing to find my posted fics and then use them against me. Somehow, she managed to guess it through an intense game of hangman and so I had to change it. Bleach is a fairly safe manga to choose from, I don't know that she knows I read it religiously. However, I can't be too sure, sergeant beta leslie shapiro is a devious clever person, so if the pen name changes again, I'm likely fleeing her clutches.

I hope your summers are going well )


	13. you guys are gonna hate the next chapter

Yeah it's another chapter. Basically I had no idea I'd written this so when I went to word to start chapter 13 and saved the document as "chapter 13" the alert "there is already a file with this name" came up, and I was like, "huh?" With a few edits, it turned out adequate for a chapter 13, I think. Not only that, but I found an entire outline of the plot for this fic back when I knew what was going on, which was about two months ago. So I can definitely say that this fic will end in two chapters. Wait, I said that last chapter. Heh heh. Oh, and I wanted to thank you guys for the wonderful reviews. They really made my day. I really thought I was going to be creamed for writing chapter 12. I'm not sure why, it's just that a feeling of dread follows every time I post.

Meh. Here's Chapter 13…

"Unbind me!" Alucard commanded her. One of the beasts that had Integra pinned against the wall sank its teeth into her leg and she grimaced.

Both vampires drew towards the blood that seeped from the bite mark, but the shield stopped them from getting closer.

"Don't do it, Hellsing," Quincy warned Integra, but there was a frantic urgency behind his words that said more than his order.

"Integra," Alucard said slowly, staring into her eyes, "I can help if you if you undo the binding. I can break through the shields if you undo them."

Integra closed her eyes and quickly went through her options. She had no gun, she had no knife, she had no weapon of any sort. Genetically enhanced monsters that were capable of rendering her lifeless in less than a minute were attacking her. On the other side of the shield that the creatures had activated were two immensely powerful vampires that could come to her aid if Alucard could break the shield in his stronger form. _That, and she could see what Alucard was like in his unbound form, and if his feelings for her were still the same,_ her mind added in a small niggling voice.

She felt for the seals that bound Alucard, that were imprinted in her mind. Carefully, mentally, she unwound them and watched as Alucard's form shimmered.

The first indication Integra had of something wrong was when Quincy stiffened let out an inhuman shriek, then crumpled onto the floor in an unconscious heap.

When Alucard's figure completely diffused into a mass of inky black nothingness, Integra began to think she had possibly made a mistake.

"At last, free," Alucard's voice rumbled, surging with raw power from somewhere in the mesh of shadow that he had become.

Integra shrank into the wall in horror. In a single fluid motion, he collected himself into a more humanoid figure and swiftly glided towards her, ripping through the shield as if it was paper and disposing of the creatures like rag dolls, until he trapped her against the wall. His teeth, bared in a leering grin, appeared in the black void of his figure and floated mockingly in front of her like the Cheshire Cat's mouth.

For the first time in eons Integra lost control and visibly shook with fear. Her father's most basic warning circled in her head like a taunting mantra, _Close combat with vampire equals death, close combat with a vampire equals death Close…._

Clenching her fists, she fought to regain control of herself and the situation. _Fear is the mind killer, _she reminded herself firmly. Fear was for animals, something that influenced prey and made them freeze until they were killed by the predator. But she was Integral Fairbrook Wingates Hellsing, and she would not be weakened by fear. Or so she told herself.

"Alucard," she said in a steadier voice.

The mass hesitated briefly, wobbling, and Integra almost hoped he would get himself under control.

This hope disappeared entirely when she felt his (very solid) teeth sink into her neck. "Alu…" she began pleadingly, starting to feel faintly dizzy.

Just as she felt like she was going to pass out, the shadows that made up Alucard receded very suddenly with a sickening squeal, revealing a pale Quincy standing behind the shadowy mass. He had thrust his hand through the core of it.

"Thank your great grandfather for thinking up a defense mechanism to counter the stupidity of future Hellsings," he gasped, withdrawing his hand and letting the shadows drop to the floor in a collective, lifeless bundle.

"What?" Integra asked blankly.

"Me," Quincy elaborated, giving Integra a scornful look.

"What did you do?" Integra asked shakily, staring at what had once been Alucard with a horrified expression on her face.

"The equivalent of stunning him," Quincy replied, looking at her angrily. "Why didn't you listen to me?" he demanded.

Integra did not reply, merely looking down at her feet and concentrating on blocking out the pain in her leg and in her neck.

Quincy sighed. "Like mother, like daughter, I suppose," he muttered distastefully, starting to push Alucard's unbound form into the direction of the prison room.

Integra twitched and looked at Quincy sharply. "What's that supposed to mean?" she asked suspiciously.

Quincy glanced at her with surprise. "He never got around to telling you?" he asked in astonishment.

Integra narrowed her eyes. "Telling me what?" She inquired softly.

Quincy stared at her for a moment, then threw back his head and laughed. Integra started from the incongruous noise that echoed off the walls and glared at him. "Tell me," she whispered.

Quincy quieted and resumed his task of shoving Alucard towards the prison room. "How did they explain your mother's death?" He asked her, but continued before Integra could ask him what that had to do with…anything, "Did they say it was suicide? That she died giving birth to you?" he persisted maliciously.

"Died giving birth to me," Integra murmured, frowning. "Why…"

"Not hardly," Quincy retorted swiftly, opening the door to the dungeon and kicking Alucard inside. "Your mother was intelligent," he admitted, "but not clever." He shut the door loudly in emphasis and turned to face Integra. "Combine intelligence and pity, and you'll find that your mother figured out a way to release the seals—despite not being of Hellsing blood—and set Alucard free to satisfy her incessant need to be benevolent and charitable." Quincy smiled deceptively at her and leaned close to her ear. "Your father found her drained completely in his study," he whispered, and Integra stepped back from him in horror.

"No," She said softly. "That can't be…"

Quincy watched impassively as she struggled to find the words to deny it, but worry flickered over his face when she fell unconscious to the floor.

"Oh, right," he said stupidly, belatedly remembering her injuries.

------------------------------

When Quincy emerged from a section of the Hellsing Manor that had been closed off for more than 20 years into the library, carrying an unconscious Integra in his arms, Walter could do little but feel anxious. Quincy, however kind he had been as a human, was not the nicest of undead.

"What happened? How did she get this injuries?" Walter asked, quickly taking Integra from Quincy and setting her down on a couch.

"Alucard," Quincy said simply as Walter puttered around looking for gauze and antiseptic. He watched with interest as Walter reached behind an encyclopedia set and dragged out a first-aid kit. "Do you always keep medical supplies in the library?" He asked curiously.

"You never know what might happen," Walter said darkly. "For that matter, what did happen?" he added, not entirely sure he believed that Alucard had hurt Integra.

"She lifted the seals," Quincy explained, not deeming it necessary to expand on the details.

Walter's eyes widened and he looked at Integra in confusion. "Why…" he started to ask, when Integra moaned and opened her eyes slowly.

"Integra," Walter sighed in relief, smoothly masking the surprise that had been on his face seconds before. "How do you feel? Should I call a doctor?" He asked.

Integra winced and glanced around. "No, no," she murmured, "Just hand me some of those bandages and antiseptic," she ordered, pulling herself up into a sitting position.

Walter nodded and gave her what she wanted from the first-aid kit.

Integra neatly bound the bite mark on her leg, but had some trouble with the wound on her neck. "Could you help me with this, please?" She asked Walter politely.

Walter hesitated and looked at Quincy. "Thank you for what you've done, Quincy," he said quietly.

Knowing at dismissal when he heard one, Quincy merely shrugged and walked out of the room.

As soon as the door shut behind him, Integra's calm expression crumpled and her whole demeanor changed. "Walter, what have I done?" she whispered in horror, closing her eyes.

Walter rested one comforting hand on her shoulder. "I don't really know what happened," he admitted, "but you'll be able to sort it out. As of now, however, you should rest. I assume Alucard has been temporarily dealt with?" he asked cautiously.

"Yes, I think so," Integra said wearily.

"Well then," Walter continued, "Try to regain some of your strength before attempting to do anything else." He packed up the first aid kit and put it away, then got up slowly and turned to leave.

"Walter?" Integra's voice made him pause, and he turned.

"Yes?" he asked.

"Is it true…that Alucard killed my mother?" She asked drowsily from her place on the couch.

Walter inwardly cursed Quincy. "Yes," he said finally, but was spared from saying more when Integra drifted to sleep.

----------------------------

Quincy looked up benignly as Walter stormed into the underground passage. "Is something wrong, Walter?" he asked lazily, leaning against the door to the room that held Alucard.

"Why did you tell Integra about her mother?" Walter inquired in deadly tones.

"Mostly because she has a right to know, and also because she irritates me," Quincy answered, making Walter stiffen in outrage. "She is a fool to think she loves him," he continued lazily.

Walter contented himself with glaring daggers at Quincy until the silence stretched between them to the point of being unbearable.

"The fragility of humans will never cease to amaze me," Quincy finally murmured. "And the human flaw of impulsive action never fails to result in disaster."

Walter lowered his gaze. "You are a fool to think you know better than her," he countered. "What Integra does and feels is her own business. It's not something you should have interfered in."

Quincy raised an eyebrow. "Do you think they love each other?" he asked doubtfully. "A vampire, and a human?"

"Just because it hasn't happened before doesn't mean it's impossible." Walter replied. "And I will support Integra in whatever she decides to do," he continued.

Quincy huffed. "You do that," he said contemptuously. "I'll sit back and watch the show, and then laugh at the end when you have to bury your master in pieces."

Walter clenched his fists, but did not rise to Quincy's bait. "Explain what happened, Quincy," he snapped.

Quincy sniffed. "I don't see why I should have to trouble myself to explain…"

A single monofilament wire wound itself around Quincy's throat and ever so slightly tightened to the point of drawing blood.

Quincy relented, sighing, and told Walter what had transpired in the underground levels to result in Integra's injuries.

Walter frowned when Quincy finished. "Your story has some holes in it, Quincy."

Quincy growled. "At one point I may have passed out from the release of Alucard's raw power," he conceded.

"Ever doomed to fail, I see," Walter said scathingly, making Quincy flinch. He unwound the wire from Quincy's neck, however, and stood back. "At least you stopped him in time," Walter muttered. "I'm thankful to you for that."

"Glad to see I'm good for something," Quincy replied nastily, "I put Alucard in the dungeon. He should be conscious soon, if you want to go check on him. I wouldn't," he advised, "As he is in his unbound form."

"Does Integra know what he's like in his unbound form?" Walter asked.

"Does anyone know what he's like in his unbound form?" Quincy countered. "What are you going to do about him, anyway?"

"His unbound form will be dealt with later," Walter answered curtly. "Only Integra can put the seals back on him."

----------------------------

Thanks again for your reviews )


	14. the drama! the tragedy! the horror!

**I would like to apologize for this chapter. Right before I started it, I read 'Windfallen' (Cassesprit!). On a sadness scale of one to ten it probably ranks around100. Two, I realized that this is my first fic. This excuse justifies the excessive melodrama and general angst floating around. Along those lines, I'd like to apologize for the use of words and phrases like "agony", "turmoil", "misery", "inner pain", "mental anguish", "I just want to end my pointless existence", etc, etc. **

**Also, this chapter is quite short. It's not the end, though….another chapter after this and I'll be done XD. **

**Oh, and this chapter has been beta'd by the lovely liz. Everyone say hi. And then go to our joint account 'lizren' and read our deathnote fic. **

Integra got through the next day by pretending everything was a dream.

If there had not been the constant pain of her neck and leg wounds, it might have worked.

She knew, at some point, that she had to replace the seals on Alucard; that she had to confront him and what had happened, but she liked to think that it could wait another day.

She liked to think he hadn't brutally murdered her mother, either, but some things just couldn't be helped.

And now she was slumped in her swivelly chair at her desk, playing with a bit of string. The gray, worn appearance of the string suggested that she had been doing this for a while, and her blank stare at nothing in particular somehow managed to give the impression that she was intent on her work.

Walter stepped into the room and saw that she was still playing with the string. "Are you going to fray that string to dust, Integra?" he asked gently.

Integra looked up sharply, snapping out of her daydream at the unwelcome sound of his voice, and put the string down. "No," she sighed slowly, stretching her arms and slumping back in her chair. "Is everything all right?" she inquired.

Walter nodded. "Seras Victoria has regained consciousness," he reported, smiling. "The…incident yesterday knocked her out, but she seems fine now."

"That's good," Integra said hollowly. "Where's Quincy?" she asked.

"I have lost track of him, but I'm sure he's in the basement somewhere," Walter said carefully. Actually, Quincy had been assigned to stand guard outside of Alucard's cell, and was probably amusing himself with the thought that Alucard was once again locked away.

Integra did not comment on Walter's vague answer or the lengthy silence that followed. She yawned, and weariness briefly flickered across her face before she stood up. "I'm going to go visit Alucard," she said assertively, and Walter wasn't sure if he was relieved or worried about this sudden decision.

"Do you want me to come with you?" he asked politely, already knowing the answer.

"No," said Integra firmly. "I should go by myself the first time."

"Of course," Walter agreed, but in his heart he was anxious. He hadn't been down to see Alucard—he did not know what the vampire was like at the moment, or if he was even conscious. He hoped, for Integra's sake, that Alucard did not do anything too atrocious. In his unbound state, the only thing Walter knew for a fact was that Alucard's vampire side would be his primary nature and mindset. He doubted Integra would find him any more sociable than he had been yesterday, but he was comforted by the fact that Quincy would be there to intervene if Alucard tried to hurt her again.

Walter watched her leave her office and fervently wished he could do something to cheer her up, like maybe fix the situation they were in.

----------------

As Integra neared the dungeons she felt the last of her resolve fading away. She actually wasn't sure if she had had any resolve to begin with, or if the pretense of determination and confidence she had shown Walter had somehow deceived her as well.

She turned the corner and felt something in her, like a bubble, expand, making her breathing irregular and her steps shaky; an immense feeling of…oh, what was the word…_trepidation. _How could approaching Alucard suddenly feel this way?

_Because now he isn't human and you have seen the monster beneath the guise of the man,_ a nasty voice in her mind pointed out. But he had never been human in her eyes, she argued, at least not at first. Then she realized that she _had_ considered him human, or at least not a monster, and finally she had to rest her forehead against the cold stone wall to ease her mental anguish.

For the second time that day a voice interrupted her thoughts, only this wasn't Walter's concerned voice, it was Alucard's, deep and sibilant, full of hate, saying, "Get out of my sight."

Her eyes flew open and she looked down the hall, where she saw Quincy. The order had been directed at Quincy, not her. And Quincy was obediently leaving; he was coming towards her.

"Ah, Hellsing," he said in greeting, impudently dropping her title. "Here to see Alucard, then?" he inquired pointlessly, for why else would she be here? "He's in that cell," he told her, pointing Integra in the right direction. He allowed himself to laugh a little, but it came out more maniacally than he intended and made Integra turn around.

"Why do you laugh?" she asked, devoid of any tangible emotion.

"See if you love him now," he said cryptically, and laughed again.

He disappeared before Integra could question him, but she found she didn't really care either way. He was gone, she was here, Alucard was behind a door.

Carefully, cautiously, she reached out and grabbed hold of the door, gripping it so tightly that she could feel the sharp metal edges parting her skin, and before she completely lost her mind she yanked it open, unsure of what she would face.

She faced Alucard, of course, and he was bound and shackled to the wall across from her. Her gaze went from his face to the assortment of bugs and rodents that littered the ground at his feet. She watched as he extended a finger and it lengthened into a shadowy point, which he drove into a rat. His face was impassive and content at the same time, and she felt sick inside.

"Alucard," she finally uttered, and he looked up, acknowledging her presence for the first time. "Old habits die hard, I see," she said, indicating the pile of creatures he had systematically impaled for amusement. A surge of pride at the control she managed to keep over her shaky voice renewed her confidence. Thank god for the little things in life, like control.

She felt a twinge of pain and saw that where she had gripped the door handle with her hand it was now cut and bleeding. He followed her gaze and licked his lips at the sight of blood. He tried to move closer, drawn to her pain, but the shackles on him went taught and he gave up, slumping back against the wall and impaling another rat that had unwisely crept in through a crack in the wall.

"Heh," Alucard breathed derisively, and he looked up from his sordid pastime, his eyes meeting hers. "I suppose they do, Hellsing," he answered, and it took Integra a moment to remember what he was replying to.

She expelled the breath she had been holding and matched his gaze hesitantly. His red eyes were the same, they looked unchanged, but there was something different about them. Then his words permeated her brain and she wondered why he called her 'Hellsing', he'd never addressed her that way before. "You are a Hellsing, aren't you? You smell like one, at least," he continued, and she suddenly realized his eyes seemed different because he looked at her without recognition in his gaze.

Control, one of the little things in life, snapped and shattered and she let herself fall to the floor, pretending that she hadn't heard his last words.

-----------

**Well, I think I did justice to the chapter title. But I promise the next chapter will be better, because that is my ninja way. And now I have to go, I'm late for cello. Reviews are love! Goodbye!**


	15. the end XX

Chapter 15. the last chapter. Yay. it's freshly written, so if there are any grammar/spelling mistakes, just tell me.

It wouldn't be the first time things hadn't gone her way, Integra mused. And besides, Alucard's amnesia was probably for the best, anyway. It was unthinkable to have gotten so close to him; to allow her emotion s to get the best of her.

Yes, it was much better this way.

But if that was true, why was she still crying?

_Because no matter how much you try to deny it, it hurts_, she realized. Even after Walter had come down to Alucard's cell to check on her and he helped her back up to her room, she had still been in shock. She was still in shock, that Alucard had forgotten…them, their relationship, _her_.

There was a knock on the door, and Integra hurriedly dried her tears. "Come in," she said softly.

Walter entered, carrying a tray with a half-full bottle of cabernet and a wine glass.

"Walter...I didn't ask for wine," she said in confusion.

Walter smiled and set down a tray. "Well, I thought a little wine would not be amiss right now," he said vaguely.

Integra sighed. "Thank you," she said, taking the glass he handed her.

"You know," Walter began quietly, while Integra sipped her wine, "Alucard once told me that he always likened you to a cabernet in his mind."

Integra gave him a strange look. "A cabernet? Why?"

"He said that the grapes that are used to make a cabernet are hardy and strong; they can thrive almost anywhere, bear any amount of strain, and they will still turn into fine wine," Walter answered.

"Thank you, Walter," Integra said, "I'm not sure why, but that cheered me up immensely."

He smiled and inclined his head. "Now, why don't you go put the seals on him,"

he said carefully. "The longer you put it off, the harder it will be," he added, quelling the irrational fear that had started to rise up in Integra at the thought of going down there again to confront the person who had, it seemed, forgotten her entirely.

"I guess I'll do that," she agreed, smiling weakly.

Walter beamed encouragingly at her, took the tray and left the room.

Integra took one last sip of her wine and got up from her desk. Steeling her self for the task ahead, she called to mind the procedure for seals she had memorized long ago. It would take five steps to completely seal Alucard, and it required a great deal of concentration to complete. Sighing, she left the room and made her way to the basement.

---------------------

Integra looked around for Quincy in the hall. It did not take long to find him crouched alongside the wall outside of Alucard's cell.

He held out two keys to her. "Each opens one of the shackles on Alucard's wrists," he explained. "And try to do it properly this time," he drawled at her before meandering away.

Integra glared at his retreating back before hesitantly opening the door. "Alucard?" she called softly into the gloom, stepping carefully into the cell.

"Hellsing," he acknowledged coolly. Integra sighed. She'd had a small hope that his memory might return, but she realized now that that had been a foolish idea.

Now, standing in front of him, she was suddenly unsure of what to say.

After a stifling silence, Alucard finally spoke up. "Well, are you going to stand there looking pale and tragic all day, or are you actually here for a reason?" he asked irritably.

"I've a present for you, Alucard," Integra said, hating herself more with every word she uttered.

"Oh? A nice present, I hope," he murmured.

Integra wondered at the absurdity of the situation. How was it that she could have a conversation--such a stupid conversation--with an unbound, powerful vampire who had the utmost desire to kill her? She supposed the shackles had something to do with sustaining his state of mind so he was sane enough to speak to her, but this did not account for her sudden desire to burst into hysterical laughter. "A nice present?" she repeated softly. "I suppose it depends on how you look at it," she murmured. And then she started to place the first seal on him.

As soon as Alucard realized what was happening he began to fight back viciously. Integra, however, had had the element of surprise and brushed off Alucard's belated attempts to stop her with relative ease. She managed to complete the first seal smoothly and watched as the red light of the binding sunk into Alucard's skin.

"Impressive," she heard Alucard say with grudging admiration. "But can you do the other four so easily, I wonder?"

Integra wondered too—after the first seal, she had to maintain physical contact with Alucard and the shackles would have to come off, or they would interfere with the construction of the seals. But she would have some modicum of control over his actions with one seal already complete.

"Don't underestimate Hellsings," she replied curtly. She saw Alucard smirk, but ignored him as she set about unlocking the shackles on his wrists.

When the last shackle fell to the ground, he immediately slammed into to her until she was pinned underneath him on the floor, and she severely winded despite the fact that she had braced herself for such an attack. "Don't underestimate me," he breathed into her ear. For a second, Integra thought he had regained his memory, the action was _so like _what he would have done had he regained it, but when he roughly bit into her throat, she doubted that he had.

After what seemed like eons she felt him move away from her throat, and then off of her chest, so that he looked down at her face. Then she discovered she could breathe again with his weight off of her lungs, and she tried to experimentally draw a breath. It hurt like hell, and she automatically started coughing.

Alucard froze, and she felt his stilled movement enough that she made effort to stop coughing and look up at him curiously. His eyes were closed and he was inhaling deeply.

'_What?'_ Integra thought. 'What's going on?' she sighed at this new complication and noticed he shivered. A reaction to her…_breath? _Why would he be reacting to the smell of—she thought back to what she had last drunk—_wine_? "Oh," she breathed, remembering when she and Alucard had shared a bottle of wine and then...she had let him drink her blood. Had the smell of wine and the taste of her blood triggered a memory from somewhere within his mind?

Suddenly she had an idea. "When most I wink then do mine eyes best see," she tried experimentally, and he shuddered; a ripple coursing throughout his body, punctuated by a growl from deep inside his throat. "For all the day, they view things unrespected," she breathed, but stopped then, not trusting her voice to continue, because

Alucard had opened his eyes and looked at her.

"Integra," he murmured dreamily, cupping her face with one hand. "Integra..." he said again, and he leaned down, brushing his lips against hers.

"Alucard," she almost sobbed, puling him closer. "You remember."

"I remember," he assured her, running his hands through her hair and nibbling affectionately on her earlobe.

"Alucard…I have to…finish putting the seals on you," she said.

He stilled, and turned to look at her again. "Must you?" He asked lightly, but his eyes pleaded with her, or dared her to try, she wasn't sure. "I would be able to unlock the seals of my own accord down to this level anyway," he said, looking at her hopefully.

"As that is the case, I see no reason why I can't just put the other seals on you anyway," Integra pointed out dryly.

Alucard laughed. "Go ahead then, Integra. I will go back into servitude for you, but only for you," he murmured. "And then the day will come when you will be mine forever," he added possessively, but there was a question in his tone.

"Maybe," Integra replied vaguely, standing up and holding out a hand to help him up. He took it gently, and stood up, using their joined hands to pull her closer to him.

"Would you get it over with?" he asked, holding her a little more tightly than necessary.

Integra inwardly shivered, but obeyed his request quickly. The other four seals went over him quickly and locked his powers accordingly. She noticed she was trembling slightly, and Alucard's hold on her tightened comfortingly so that she felt secure in his arms.

_Your mother's killer_, her mind supplied her helpfully. She broke away from him abruptly and stood back. She had forgotten, how could she have _forgotten _that he had killed her mother, even with the fact that he had remembered everything again?

"Is it possible for you to forgive me?" Alucard asked, realizing why she had shied away. "Or at least come to terms with it?" he questioned, looking for the answer in her eyes.

"I'll admit it does put a damper on our relationship," Integra said lightly, but she couldn't escape the seriousness of the question. "I don't know," she said softly. "We'll have to see, won't we?" she asked.

Alucard smiled and they walked out of the cell together.

--------------------

THE END, THANK GOD.

Thanks for all of your reviewses.

Aaaand a special thank you to Death's Integrity. You have reviewed since the beginning of my fanfiction….career? is that the right word? I guess.

At times when my self-confidence got low you were always reviewing and saying good job and encouraging stuff like that. Every fanfiction author fledgling should have someone as supportive as you. but everyone else helped too ). I couldn't have done it without you guys. I'm going to stop before this gets more sappy.

Siiiigh.


End file.
